Now That's What I Call Movie, Vol 1
If Meet The Spartans' position at the top of the box office chart this weekend proves anything—besides the fact that Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are simultaneously smarter and stupider than all of us—it's that America is in the mood to laugh. Also, America has no sense of humor.
Still, why should Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, and various and sundry Wayans have the market cornered on movies that are little more than a randomly chosen selection of cheap gags, lazy references, pratfalls, and gay jokes strung together by Carmen Electra smiles? Think about all the pop culture references sitting in your brain right now gathering dust. According to the Friedberg/Seltzer/Wayans farting-is-the-same-thing-as-writing model, those references are jokes, and about twenty of them collected in one place is a movie that makes $19 million opening weekend. Easy, right? We can all do this.
That's why today I started to write my own Epic Scary Date Spartans Movie. It's called Now That's What I Call Movie, Vol. 1, and it's going to take all the pop cultural references you thought you knew and show them to you again, except this time they'll be "jokes." Sample scenes are below. (Apologies to Friedberg & Seltzer if some of these ideas overlap with Meet The Spartans. Chalk it up to parallel non-thinking.)
Now That's What I Call Movie, Vol. 1 Ideas:
—Atonement/Transformers spoof: Keira Knightly falls in love with an Autobot. When they are separated, she whispers, "I love you" in his giant metallic ear as the music swells.
—Something with a midget that looks like Donald Trump