Orange Is The New Black may have a lot less Laura Prepon next season

By Sean O'Neal | August 15, 2013 | 3:11pm

Aux Features TV

Everyone’s favorite lesbian drug dealer who isn’t k.d. lang (WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID) may be leaving Orange Is The New Black, as BuzzFeed has broken the news (later confirmed by The Hollywood Reporter) that Laura Prepon won't be a series regular in the prison drama’s second season. For what it's worth, neither the show's producers nor Netflix have offered any specific comments about Prepon, so nothing is official yet. Netflix says only, "Our season is still developing and nothing is confirmed"—a perfectly ambiguous statement that allows for any number of contingencies, from Prepon still being around to the entire women's prison being relocated to the moon, where any escape would be futile. And just try engaging in any illicit lesbian activity in clunky moon boots!

But if the initial report can be believed, Prepon’s Alex will only return for “a limited number of episodes” in order to “resolve her story”—wording that seems especially ominous considering the setting, and the fact that prisoner stories are often “resolved” at the end of a belt noose. Fortunately, that doesn’t appear to be the case here, as “the door will be left open” for Prepon to return any time she experiences the horrible, horrible freedom that awaits her on the outside, and realizes she was much better off in fake jail.