“Your Twitter mentions are going to go into the toilet,” exclaimed Oswalt, as soon as he regained the power of speech. Colbert was unbending, though, telling his incredulous guest that, while The Hobbit is cute and all (actually, he mentioned a half dozen suitably obscure things he likes about it), it doesn’t have “the high style and language” of Colbert’s beloved Lord Of The Rings. Citing that time Colbert (or “Colbert”) turned guest James Franco into petrified troll dust for daring to come into Colbert’s house talking Silmarillion smack, Oswalt (technically there in support of his new stand-up tour) wasn’t about to throw down for real, but he at least got the host to concede that Alice is just the right age to enjoy The Hobbit’s more homely charms. Plus, Stephen King is totally out for Alice at this point, as Oswalt explained how his parents allowed him to read Cujo and The Stand way, way too young. Eh, he’s doin’ fine.