Suggesting that the subtitle A XXX Parody is not the emblem of inspiration it once was, the recent “porn version” of Fifty Shades Of Grey has been answered by an attempt to make a “porn version” of Paul Schrader’s The Canyons, a film that is also already a “porn version” of many things, such as wise decision-making. Such double-penetrating recursion has motivated Vivid Entertainment CEO Steve Hirsch to reach out to James Deen, porn star-turned-star-of-the-officially-not-porn Canyons, with an offer letter that echoes what millions of Internet commenters have done every time a Lindsay Lohan movie is announced, urging him to just make it into porn already.
While traditionally a film has to be somewhat popular or even occasionally screened before it merits a porn parody, Hirsch makes it clear his interest here is primarily in hot, sexy, meta action: “It would be a first in parodies … the actual star of a mainstream movie also starring in an X-rated version of that same movie! How cool is that?” Hirsch writes redundantly, as truly it would be very cool for Deen to return to starring in films where he recites ludicrous dialogue to damaged actresses, but here he also gets to have orgasms.
Anyway, Deen has yet to accept the offer, even with the enticing “list of hot women” who could stand in for Lohan but probably actually show up to work this time. Though it has to be tempting, seeing as in the porn industry, at least, “ugliness and deadness” aren’t really considered relevant criticisms. In fact, perhaps Deen should just forward this letter to Paul Schrader?