Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Presidential Blitz turns the blighted 2016 election into a fun, retro game

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

With one extremely divisive candidate already locking up his party’s nomination and another extremely divisive candidate extremely close to locking up hers, the most bitter and hateful months of the 2016 presidential race still lie ahead. Childish insults will be hurled. Wild accusations will be made. The advertising alone will be inescapable. Time to hide away in a disused bomb shelter until December? Not at all. A free online game called Presidential Blitz manages to turn the election cycle into a fun, nostalgic platform while working in some cogent satire about the candidates. Users can opt to play the game as either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. Those who are feeling the Bern should know that Senator Sanders, while not a playable character, does make his presence felt here. Among other challenges, Clinton dodges millennials while collecting gifts from super PACs. Trump’s goal is to build a wall to keep those immigrants out, but he has to dodge the bombs being lobbed at him by the media and the GOP establishment.

This brief trailer does a very decent job of conveying the tone and content of Presidential Blitz. The graphics and music both hark back to the ’80s and early ’90s, when these two candidates first entered the public consciousness.

For those inclined toward political outrage at the slightest provocation, please be advised that this game does not seem to be any kind of coordinated, partisan attack by anyone. Entertainment is the name of the game here. An FAQ for Presidential Blitz makes that clear. Sort of.

Q: Does this website contain a political statement?

A: No, we just love to make silly games.

Q: I don’t believe you.

A: We don’t care.

Q: Now I am insulted!

A: Ok, we do care.

Players who find themselves entranced by the background music from Presidential Blitz, meanwhile, can find downloads of the music here and here. It would seem that Clinton and Trump are so fundamentally incompatible that even their respective video game theme songs cannot be stored on a single page.