RFK Jr. to continue giving nation explosive diarrhea as host of new cooking show

Diarreah czar Robert F. Kennedy Jr. isn’t content with popularizing drinking raw milk that’s been sitting in the sun for a few hours or relaxing FDA standards until there’s an outbreak of the cyclospora parasite. Speaking to USA Today, Kennedy revealed that he will be bringing his raccoon penis expertise to a food-borne YouTube show called The Real Food Show. The leading health official in the country, who earlier in his term flipped the long-unused food pyramid upside down, literally, to win the so-called “war on protein,” wants to “reintroduce” cooking to Americans, whom he says suffer “an epidemic of isolation” that could be cured with some yogurt. It’s all in the introductory video, wherein Kennedy, in his dulcet tones, introduces The Real Food Show!, because, like Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy, the famed carcass dumper has nothing better to do than travel across the country filming a weird little vanity project. Somewhat poetically, the first celebrity chef Kennedy brought in to give his culinary skills a boost is Chef Andrew Gruel, who helped Kennedy cook up “Crispy Salmon Cakes with Apple, White Bean & Green Salad,” all of which will surely cure the chronic diseases Americans will still have once the Trump administration finishes off Medicare.