We were saddened to learn that this year’s Mortal Kombat reboot was being totally unrealistic in suggesting that a nearly immortal ninja with magical ice powers could actually stab someone with a blood icicle. It led us to question the plausibility of what’s otherwise such a grounded universe. We wondered what it’s all for if super-powered martial artists don’t exist in everyday life.
Fortunately, Kuma Films has filmed the rope dart talents of stunt performer Todd Robins in an effort to reassure us that not every impressive display of brutal violence shown in the film was completely made up.
Over the span of roughly four minutes, Robins shows off just how good he is at using a rope dart whose only deficiency is that it doesn’t emerge directly from his hand like the head of a metal snake. He annihilates a bunch of soda cans, a clay pigeon, and a trio of water bottles, miraculously only gets hurt once by smacking himself in the nuts with the dart. (It could have been much, much worse.)
The best part is his second attempt at attacking a watermelon, which bursts apart in slow motion, its delicious gore exploding out like the brains of an ice-ninja. It’s proof that not only can (a slightly less supernatural version of) Mortal Kombat’s Scorpion exist, but that rope dart experts can also pop your head like a grape at a moment’s notice.
Right now, at this very moment, a real guy is walking around who can actually throw out a deadly object capable of making your head explode at lightning speed. We don’t know about you, but that certainly makes us feel better about the world we live in.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org