Savage Love Extra- February 27, 2008
In
this column, Dan Savage requested that his readers send their used
sex toys to Kandiss Crone at WLBT 3 News in Jackson, Mississippi. Crone had
just shot and aired a TV exposé of a local adult entertainment shop that was
selling sex toys, and Dan suggested that readers e-mail her "and let her know
what a great job she's doing for the community." Some readers cc:ed Dan on
their communiqués to Crone:
Dear Ms. Crone:
I understand from your reporting that,
in the state of Mississippi, it is illegal to own a "three-dimensional device"
for the purpose of sexual pleasure, but owning a "three-dimensional device" for
the purpose of killing another human being (a handgun) is okey-dokey and much
encouraged by your politicians down there.
All I can say to that is, you sure live
in one screwed-up state in one screwed-up country. Count me as one American
living in Canada who is glad to have escaped!
Yours truly,
B.M.
Ms. Crone,
I applaud your diligence in your attempts
at exposing the perverted demons who buy and use sex toys. This unholy carnage
must be stopped! Why should one need to use such devices for masturbatory
purposes when there are so many prostitutes out there in need of work?
I suggest that you start a positive
campaign for the turning away of our youth from such horrendous devices you
spoke out against on your TV show, and toward the God's honest real thing for
hire!
Keep up the good work,
Baptist
B.
Dear Ms. Crone,
I've just read your story describing the sting
operation you and your crew performed on an area adult store.
It's an interesting coincidence, because
just yesterday I went with two of my girlfriends—both recently divorced
after abusive marriages—to our local sex-toy shop to buy vibrators. Not
only did we have a great time picking them out, my friends were clearly
thrilled to be taking what they felt was a significant step toward reasserting
their strength and independence. One of them told me today that she became very
anxious last night about sleeping in an empty house, but that using her new
vibrator calmed her down enough for her to get to sleep. For my part, I was
glad we'd made the shopping trip for another reason: I would much rather see my
friends using their toys in the privacy and safety of their own homes than
hitting the bars and having one-night stands with unknown men out of an
unfulfilled need for sexual intimacy.
My point? Only that it is despicable to
actively harass a local business for selling these products. In targeting Adult
Video And Books, you implicitly condemn the physically and emotionally healthy
activities that the store and its products facilitate. As a media outlet, you
have a responsibility to your viewers not to cast shame upon the safe
fulfillment of natural sexual urges and needs.
Respectfully,
H.T.
Dear Ms. Crone,
I wanted to take this opportunity to
thank you for your journalistic integrity and your commitment to protecting the
community. I'm sure Jackson, Mississippi, will be much safer now that you have
rid the streets of three-dimensional adult-pleasure devices.
Although there is primary data proving
that orgasms boost the immune system, elevate mood, relieve stress, and,
between you and me, Kandiss, are just plain fun, let's never forget that all of
the above contribute to the degeneration of consenting adults everywhere.
So, once again, from the bottom of my
cervix, I want to thank you for making it more difficult for the adults of
Jackson, Mississippi, to find inexpensive, low-fat, aerobic,
self-image-enhancing ways to feel good.
The world is truly a better place
without vibrators. Now if we could only get rid of douchebags like you.
Jennifer
J.
Dear Ms. Crone,
I am an historian of human sexuality and
a proud owner of three vibrators. Actually four, if you count the antique one I
inherited from an 88-year-old relative who died and whose children (who are in
their 60s) found her 1950s-era vibrator and realized I would appreciate it.
(She had been married for over 60 years, to a lovely man, when she died.) I
haven't used hers, and don't plan to (the cord is kind of frayed), but I think
it should let you know that nice women (like naughty women) have, for
generations and generations, used vibrators to feel good, and there is nothing
wrong with that. Vibrators often help women like me, in their 40s, get orgasms
something like those we used to get when we were young, and they help our
partners give us pleasure, which is good, good, good for long-lasting marriages,
straight or gay.
Madam, do get a life, or at least get
yourself a nice vibrator. I can recommend some if you like.
Alice
D., Ph.D.
Ms. Crone,
I just wanted to write and offer my
heartfelt congratulations at your obvious intellect, professionalism, and
journalistic integrity in doing your small part in clearing up the scourge of
sex toys. I am sure your viewers appreciate the job you are doing in
highlighting this important topic.
By important, I mean in relation to
other trivialities, such as genocide in Darfur, an over $500,000,000,000 annual
military budget this year (the biggest since WWII), the historical primary
race, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the many, many tragic deaths caused
by madmen (and women) who use lawfully purchased guns to massacre their
innocent classmates around America. Keep up the GOOD WORK!
Kind regards,
Alexander
M.Z.
Ms. Crone:
It is difficult to strike the right tone
in addressing this letter to you. I think I should be straightforward.
I think your story about Adult Video and
Books, the sex shop that you discovered to be selling sex toys, was not quality
reporting. It is easy to point a finger and proclaim, "Look at the naughty,
dirty sex," and I'm sure that stories like this boost ratings: Everyone likes a
scandal that doesn't carry any moral obligation to act. You were, in my
opinion, firing at a wide target, and one which might titillate your viewers
without asking them to think about or improve life in Jackson.
More challenging work for a reporter is
to outline the difficulties the homeless face, or perhaps take a careful look
at whether money spent by lobbyists causes our representatives in Congress to
vote against our interests. I think you're in a position to consider many
important issues in the world today and to bring them to light in a way that
challenges your viewers to actively do something to improve those issues. This,
I think, is better than taking cheap jabs at people who use "three-dimensional
devices." As in countries where ethnic cleansing causes people to live in fear,
you might be surprised at how many of your colleagues and coworkers are users
of these devices, but live in secret to avoid persecution.
T.N.
Dear Ms Crone,
Gee, I feel so bad that I don't have any
sex toys to send to you for proper disposal. I'm going to do my best to help
you in your noble crusade! Will you accept bananas and cucumbers?
Roy
C.
Hi, Kandiss,
Just wanted to drop a note thanking you
for making us all aware that some stores out there sell "three-dimensional
devices" designed to be used in sexual ways. Keep up the good work and maybe
law enforcement will finally act to rid us of these vile places.
I, for one, am glad you're doing this.
I'd much prefer my young daughter explores her sexuality with whatever she can
find around the house. There are always bottles, bananas, and I can't even
think what all that she can use instead.
There's no health risk involved in using
a banana instead though, right?
Pat
I can believe that a town in Mississippi
still criminalizes the sale of sex toys, and I can believe that a spotlight-hog
TV reporter staged a ratings grab about the sale of sex toys, and I can even
believe that the local law enforcement ruined her day by saying they had bigger
crimes to prosecute. And I can completely understand why anyone opposed to this
cheap theatrical stunt would protest by sending their used sex toys to Kandiss
Crone, c/o WLBT 3 News, 715 South Jefferson Street, Jackson, Mississippi,
39201. But I cannot believe that the reporter works for a station whose call
letters shout out to lesbians, bisexuals, and trannies. That part, Dan, you
must have made up. Right?
I mean, come on, the truth doesn't write
itself like that.
D.M.
Couple of comments on the Crone piece:
First, she's been a reporter there since June 2007, so she probably doesn't
have a great deal of say in her assignments. Not that this excuses her for
being a good little soldier, but her fucktard of an editor could probably use
some surplus three-dimensional devices of his own. Also, the greatest irony
about the whole situation from this (relatively) humble attorney's perspective
is that by showing it afterward to the store owner, the cops, and untold
numbers of Concerned Viewers, Crone was herself in apparent violation of the
statute, which declares that a "person commits the offense of distributing
unlawful sexual devices when he knowingly sells, advertises, publishes, or
EXHIBITS to any person any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as
useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs, or offers to do
so, or possesses such devices with the intent to do so."
Although the following statute provides
an exemption for teeveenewz reporters, that only applies "where the signal
transmitting the material or performance originates outside of the state of
Mississippi." As WLBT-3's antenna is located outside of Raymond in Hinds
County, Mississippi, Ms. Crone could be charged with a misdemeanor and face up
to a $5,000 fine and six months in the can for displaying some slick purple
head. Luckily for her, I happen to know a damn good attorney.
The
Latex Lawyer