At this point, it has become pretty clear that a lot of the “apologies” that celebrities issue after they’re accused of something awful are pretty similar. They often apologize for whatever they’re accused of while not specifically admitting that they did it, or they’ll say some variation of “I don’t remember this, but I’m trying to look like a good person so I won’t flat-out say my accuser is lying.” Lots of celebrities will arrogantly think it’s also a good idea to try and excuse whatever they’re accused of by revealing some personal details. As formulaic as these apologies are, they still take up time that our entitled celebrities could better spend by denying that they did anything wrong, so Dana Schwartz, Rob Sheridan, and Scott McCaughey have put together a Celebrity Apology Generator that does all of the work for them.
When you load the page, it spits out a generic-ish apology that a famous person can then type up in the Notes app on their iPhone and post on Twitter as a screen shot, at which point they can just sit back and wait for Hollywood to forgive them—or wait until they’re fired from everything and replaced by Christopher Plummer.