Screech is going to jail for four months

By Alex McLevy  |  June 25, 2015 | 5:29pm
Aux Features TV

The trial of the century came to a thunderous conclusion last month, when Screech from Saved By The Bell (a.k.a. Dustin Diamond) was found guilty of disorderly conduct and carrying a concealed weapon. The trial stemmed from the event of the century, in which Screech and his girlfriend were involved in a Christmas Day barroom fight in Wisconsin that resulted in Screech pulling out a knife and stabbing a guy. (As per our earlier editorial decision, The A.V. Club will refer to Diamond as “Screech,” given that Diamond has done the same in a life largely based on exploiting that persona.) The Associated Press reports Screech has now been sentenced to four months in jail, along with 15 months’ probation. He is ordered to report to jail on Sunday.

Below is a visual depiction of what we assume was going through Screech’s head when the sentencing was announced.

Likely contributing to the guilty verdict and subsequent jail time is prosecutors’ evidence that Screech lied repeatedly in his testimony to police. Initially, Bayside High’s nerdiest student claimed that he may have struck the man with a pen. Later in the night, he admitted that he had a knife on his person, but hadn’t used it. Furthermore, witnesses testified that Screech’s girlfriend actually initiated the fight, again contradicting initial statements from the couple.

Here is a visual rendering of what Screech’s time in the clink will look like:

 
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