Since there's nothing else going on in politics, let's dig into the #Fartgate conspiracy
Perhaps the most important week in 2019 American politics is happening right now. As you read this, the government and the nation’s people are gathered together, determined to get to the bottom of an unprecedented event that could rock the foundation of a country. That’s right: We’re talking about whether or not Representative Eric Swalwell farted live on camera last night.
The original document in this vast conspiracy—the flatulent Zapruder Film of 2019—is a tweet from Andrew Lawrence that shows the brief but momentous clip as it aired on MSNBC’s Hardball. In it, Swalwell, while talking about some other, less important topic, seems to rip a robust one and continue onward, undaunted.
Before we go any further, please watch for yourself—several times if necessary.
While this sure does sound like Swalwell blowing ass during a live broadcast, the powers that be have scrambled to cover up the situation in any way possible. The official Hardball Twitter account acted quickly, blaming the sound on a “mug scraping across the desk” and urged everyone to “get back to the news!” Hm. We think the Hardball doth protest too much.
Intrepid Buzzfeed News reporter Addy Baird got in touch with Swalwell himself, outright asking “if this was you or someone in the studio.”
Swalwell, as expected, denied (using a suspicious number of exclamation points), admitting only that the entire situation is “funny tho.”