Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, January 13. All times are Eastern.
Younger (TV Land, 10 / 10:30 p.m.): Let’s hear it for ladies, TV Land! And let’s also hear it for Younger: soon-to-be three seasons and possibly even more seasons! With Hot In Cleveland being dead in Peak TV, TV Land is hitching its wagon to the Sutton Foster vehicle, and we’ve got to say: Good decision, TV Land. Tonight, welcome Younger back with a two-episode second season premiere, “Tattoo You” and “The Mao Function”: “Liza works on her relationship with Josh while Caitlin returns to school. Elsewhere: another publisher pursues Kelsey.” That’s how you keep a show synopsis cut and dry, Younger. We’re sure Alexa Planje’s reviews will fill in the blanks.
Teachers (TV Land, 11 p.m.): Let’s keep hearing it for ladies, TV Land! We hope the premiere of Younger makes everyone watching feel younger. So they can stay up for the series premiere of Teachers. Get it? You get it. Cut and dry is also the name of the game for this series’ synopsis, but we’re going to warn you now: It’s pretty much the opposite of the tone of the series. “Six teachers try to mold young minds while their own lives are a mess in the premiere of this series.” Yeah, that doesn’t even sound half as appealing as the actual show. Molly Eichel’s pre-air review of the series is more detailed, and if the amount of time “anal bleaching” is mentioned in the first paragraph of that review is any indication, then the synopsis is really underselling the series.
The Challenge: Battle Of The Bloodlines (MTV, 10 p.m.): Last week’s The Challenge: Aftershow was honestly one of the greatest displays of reality television… ever. In fact, it felt like the producers of UnREAL took over the show just for that beautifully brutal episode of television. This week’s episode of The Challenge can’t possibly achieve such heights (especially with a lack of aftershow), but it will probably make at least a few of us cry, as “the cast and CT and Diem’s sister pay tribute to Diem and Knight.”
Second Chance (Fox, 9 p.m.): You may have notice something spooky in the air, and as it turns out, it’s a Frankenstein. That’s right, after years of Skellingtons, Headless Horsemens, ETs, and even Satin, Fox is staying in the spooky business with Frankensteins. Like we said—it’s spooky. Such is the way of Fox’s Second Chance (fka Lookinglass and fka The Frankenstein Code), “a thrilling new action-drama about a man brought back to life by two scientists playing god in the quest to save one of their own lives.” On the one hand, we here at TV Club are always down to support any show from Rand Ravich (who created the short-lived NBC series Life) and that keeps Dilshad Vadsaria (who was the best thing in a world of bests on ABC Family’s Greek) in the pop culture lexicon. On the other hand, like we said before: Frankensteins. Joshua Alston’s pre-air review of this series gets it.
Black-ish (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): “Dre has never had a problem with Pops dating, but when it comes to Ruby, he won’t let anyone come between them.” DOU-BLE STAN-DARD! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* (That one was for you, LaToya Ferguson. Sincerely, your friendly neighborhood What’s On Tonight contributor.)
American Horror Story (FX, 10 p.m.): Golden Globe winner Lady Gaga would like for you all to know that this is “Chapter 12” of American Horror Story: Hotel, which means that it is also the season finale, “Be Our Guest.” Yes, it just feels right that American Horror Story: Hotel would end it all with a tip of the hat to Beauty And The Beast. (And not just because Cheyenne Jackson could easily play a live-action Gaston.) “Iris and Liz oversee a new era at the Cortez. John and Alex struggle to adapt to life outside the hotel.” Ah, we see. So was it all worth it? Or was the alternative of just (re)watching ABC’s 666 Park Avenue actually the right call? Before you answer that, Emily L. Stephens, please acknowledge this screencap from 666 Park Avenue, in which Vanessa Williams has just been sprayed in the face with gas:
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FXX, 10 p.m.): “Frank falls out the window causing him to think it’s 2006, the gang approaches it as a do-over and attempts to fix their past mistakes.” Dennis Perkins remembers when that happened to him. It was one of the funniest moments of his life. We can only imagine that the same will happen with this episode. (Also, we definitely know that the same will happen with the episode. How is this show still so good 11 seasons in?)
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.)
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.)
American Crime (ABC, 10 p.m.)
Man Seeking Woman (FXX, 10:30 p.m.)
Mary Elizabeth Ellis is pretty funny, and currently, she’s on two pretty funny shows: It’s Always Sunny and The Grinder. So, what’s that like? Read her interview with Kenneth Arthur and find out. The answer might surprise you. (Unless the answer is “pretty good.”)
Also on the funny spectrum: crappy wrestling gimmicks. Please, mark out to our Inventory of “14 regrettable wrestling gimmicks.”
Let’s keep the funny train going, people! This time, with broads! No, not those broads. The Idiotsitter broads, Jillian Bell and Charlotte Newhouse! Dennis Perkins’ pre-air review of the new Comedy Central series calls it “winning,” which is a lot better than those crappy wrestling gimmicks. And hey, you want more funny broads (that also coincidentally started all of their funny broad stuff on the internet)? Then check out TV Land’s Teachers (and our Teacher pre-air review), like we said you should earlier.
Lego Nexo Knights (Cartoon Network, 5:30 p.m.): “The Power Of Merlock” compels you! “The Power Of Merlock” compels you! “The Power Of Merlock” compels you!
2 Broke Girls (CBS, 8 p.m.): 100 episodes of 2 Broke Girls, and now the girls are coming out. They want the world to know, etc. So in “And The Coming Out,” we’re going back to beginning: “When Caroline’s grandmother Astrid awakens from a coma with no knowledge of her family’s massive money scandal, Caroline attempts to keep the truth hidden for a bit longer by giving Astrid one last fancy luncheon.” Fingers crossed that Caroline can keep her poor grandmother from learning a truth that greatly affects her.
American Idol (Fox, 8 p.m.): “Ryan and the judges continue their search as they travel the country in hopes of finding the next big thing.” Isn’t it technically “the last big thing”?
The Mysteries Of Laura (NBC, 8 p.m.): “The violent death of a perfume magnate leaves the detectives wondering who they can trust.” What a loaded sentence. We’re glad that this is an episode in which Jerry O’Connell, Willie Garson, and Stockard Channing all chose to guest star.
Mob Wives (VH1, 8 / 9 p.m.): The two-hour season six of premiere of Mob Wives has decided to give us both “Mobbed Up Mermaids” and “Cabin In The Woods.” Sadly, we doubt this means amazingly bizarre remakes of Splash (with criminals) and, well, Cabin In The Woods. But who knows? Shows can get really weird in their later seasons.
Mike & Molly (CBS, 8:30 p.m.): “Molly hopes a fitness tracking device will encourage Mike to be more active and take better care of himself, but Mike has other plans for it.” Stay safe, Molly.
Duck Dynasty (A&E, 9 p.m.): Here’s to nine seasons of Duck Dynasty! Just kidding.
Criminal Minds (CBS, 9 p.m.): Criminal Minds is back with “Entropy,” and all we really need is for it not to lead us down the same depressing path as the Buffy episode did.
Tia Mowry At Home (Cooking Channel, 9 p.m.): “Tia invites her husband Cory’s single actor friends over for a cookout by the pool.” So now Tia’s thinking of straying, just to enable her damn cooking addiction? Girl.
Property Brothers (HGTV, 9 p.m.): “A couple and their two children search for a home of their own after camping out in their family’s basement for 10 months. However, finding a property that’s both move-in ready and affordable proves to be more difficult than they ever imagined.” How ever will they solve their problems?!?! Oh, with the help of the Property Brothers? Yeah, you’re right. That’s what it’s all about.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC, 9 p.m.): “Benson (Mariska Hargitay) is taken hostage when she tries to stop a violent home invasion.” First of all, we love how this press release makes sure we know who plays Olivia Benson, 17 seasons into the series’ run. Secondly, this episode is titled “Townhouse Incident,” but we’re still sure all of our parents will refer to it as “one of those episodes where Olivia gets kidnapped.” We know we will.
Nova (PBS, 9 p.m.): “Mineralogist Robert Hazen explores the role that rocks may have played in the creation of life on Earth.” Classic rock head behavior.
Face Off (Syfy, 9 p.m.): The 10th season premiere of Face Off is like a Bon Jovi song: “Wanted Dead Or Alive.” (Don’t laugh at that. It was barely even a joke.) “Season 10 begins with the 14 competing artists working in teams of two to create alien bounty hunters.” See? Bon Jovi has nothing to do with this.
My 600-lb Life (TLC, 9 p.m.): In “Brittani’s Story,” this is Brittani’s story: “A 600-lb. woman is married to a man who likes large partners, but weight-loss surgery leads to more changes in her life than she could have ever imagined.” Eek.
Newlyweds: The First Year (Bravo, 10 p.m.): More like “fight or fight,” are we right? (Our point would be that all of the couples just keep fighting. Also, the episode is titled “Fight Or Flight.” That’s what we’re addressing.)
Code Black (CBS, 10 p.m.): “Shiri Appleby Returns as Malaya’s Ex-Girlfriend Carla Niven.” We guess that’s almost like UnREAL being back. Oh, it’s not? Nevermind then. Just think about that Lion King episode again.
The Conversation (Lifetime, 10 p.m.): Just like I Get That A Lot, it turns out that we were the fools for believing that this show just ceased to exist. Okay, it did actually just cease to exist, but now it’s back, a little less than four years after its last episode. By the way, that last episode was “Parenting & Perseverance,” which featured Donna Karan, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ivanka Trump, and Joy Bryant, all women who are considered the pinnacle of parenting, we guess. This episode is hitting us with “The Hillary Clinton Interview.” Oh, Hillary. You don’t need to bring a Lifetime series we all forgot existed back from the dead to be a winner. Unless that Lifetime series is Strong Medicine.
Chicago P.D. (NBC, 10 p.m.): Chicago Platt Update: It doesn’t look like Oliver Platt is in this episode of Chicago P.D., but Chicago Fire’s Steven R. McQueen is. Fingers crossed that they’re just saving Platt as a surprise appearance.
Rich In Faith (Oxygen, 10 p.m): “TBD,” baybay!
Master P’s Family Empire (Reelz, 10 p.m.): Just a reminder: This is not a spin-off of or in any way related to Fox’s Empire. It’s trying to trick you.
Rev Runs Around The World (Travel Channel, 10 / 10:30 p.m.): This week, Rev Run has just gone full tilt into stereotyping with “London: Pinkies Up” and “Reykjavik: Stranded On A Glacier.” All we get from the latter is another reason to miss The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson.
Watch What Happens: Live (Bravo, 11 p.m.): Eva Longoria! Yay! Ryan Seacrest! Hey, you already got your Seacrest jollies out during the American Idol entry.
The Prestige (Encore Mystery, 6:45 p.m.): Hopefully you can see the movie through your tears, Bowie fans.
Barclays Premier League Soccer: Liverpool vs. Arsenal (NBC Sports, 2:55 p.m.)
College Basketball: SMU at East Carolina (ESPNews, 6:15 p.m.)
College Basketball: Georgetown at St. John’s (FS1, 6:30 p.m.)
College Basketball: Duke at Clemson (ESPN, 7 p.m.)
College Basketball: Boston College at Syracuse (ESPN2, 7 p.m.)
College Basketball: Houston at Cincinnati (ESPNU, 7 p.m.)
College Basketball: Temple at Memphis (CBS Sports, 8 p.m.)
NBA Basketball: Pacers at Celtics (ESPN, 8 p.m.)
NHL Hockey: Bruins at Flyers (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.)
College Basketball: TCU at Baylor (ESPNews, 8:15 p.m.)
College Basketball: Marquette at Villanova (FS1, 8:30 p.m.)
College Basketball: Mississippi at LSU (ESPN2, 9 p.m.)
College Basketball: Oklahoma at Oklahoma State (ESPNU, 9 p.m.)
College Basketball: San Diego State at Colorado State (CBS Sports, 10 p.m.)
NBA Basketball: Heat at Clippers (ESPN, 10:30 p.m.)
College Basketball: Southern California at UCLA (ESPN2, 11 p.m.)
College Basketball: Oregon State at Colorado (ESPNU, 11 p.m.)
WWE NXT (WWE Network, 8 p.m.)
Ring Of Honor (Comet TV, midnight)
The Expanse: Zack Handlen’s review of last night’s episode asks “how much character work is too much character work”? Obviously, you can find out the answer to that in the review itself.