Sometimes dead is apparently not better: Pet Sematary, Police Academy remakes in the works

"Sometimes dead is better" spookily intones Fred Gwynne in the kind of shitty yet moderately enjoyable 1989 hit Stephen King adaptation Pet Sematary. The fine folks over at Paramount apparently don't agree, as they've hired 1408 scribe Matthew Greenberg to pen a newfangled version of the fright flick. Questions remain: who has the charisma and raw sexual magnetism to step into the Dale Midkiff role? Gwynne probably won't reprise his role, being dead and all, unless, of course, the producers discover some kind of spooky final resting place on an Indian burial ground that can bring the dead back to life. But at what cost? (cue dramatic music)