Star Trek: The Special Edition

A press release just arrived in my inbox announcing that Star Trek, as in the original series, would be returning to broadcast syndication for the first time since 1990. Good news, right? If you're not watching Star Trek at 10am on a Saturday morning on some UHF station, you're not really watching Star Trek, are you?

Then it goes on to trumpet the "all new special effects and music."

Guh? Let's get into specifics:

The most noticeable change will be redoing many of the special effects, created with 1960s technology, with 21st century computer-generated imagery (CGI). That includes:

Related Content

• DirecTV isn't even offering satellite TV in some places anymore
• TV is tapping into our collective desire to rage against the machine

— Space ship exteriors — The space ship Enterprise, as well as other Starships, will be replaced with state of the art CGI-created ships. The new computer-generated Enterprise is based on the exact measurements of the original model, which now rests in the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C.

— Show opening — The Enterprise and planets seen in the main title sequence will be redone, giving them depth and dimension for the first time.

— Galaxy shots — All the graphics of the galaxy, so frequently seen through the window on the Enterprise's bridge, will be redone.

— Exteriors — The battle scenes, planets and ships from other cultures (notably the Romulan Bird of Prey and Klingon Battle Cruisers) will be updated.

— Background scenes — Some of the iconic, yet flat, matte paintings used as backdrops for the strange, new worlds explored by the Enterprise crew will get a CGI face-lift, adding atmosphere and lighting.

Did anyone ask for this? Does anyone think this will work? Did no one see those Star Wars special editions? Nothing against CGI, but it just doesn't fit when shoehorned into old movies and TV shows. The context is all wrong. It's like putting sneakers on the disciples in The Last Supper. Is this as stupid as it sounds or am I just being a curmudgeon?

(Oh and the "new music" is just kind of new:

The original score by Emmy Award-winning composer Alexander Courage has been re-recorded in state-of-the-art digital stereo audio with an orchestra and a female singer belting out the famous vocals. A digitally remastered version of William Shatner's classic original recording of the 38-word "Space, the final frontier…" monologue continues to open each episode."

I guess no one had the idea of recruiting Little John to crunk it up a bit.