Sharkientist Tara Reid has repeatedly warned of the dangers of shark-filled tornadoes, both in the documentaries Sharknado and Sharknado 2, and in the pages of our most respected science and trouser journals. But alas, the world has refused to take her warnings seriously. So Tara Reid has now taken it upon herself to protect us all by bottling sharks into perfume, so they can’t be swept up in any tropical storms and eat us. Reid has just launched her new fragrance line, Shark By Tara, which is described as a “light and refreshing perfume perfect for day-to-day wear,” and not just those rare, special occasions when the sky is suddenly filled with sharks.
Naturally, some may wonder whether Shark By Tara was created by a shark having sex with Tara Reid inside a bottle. But no, this is scientifically inaccurate. Instead, Shark By Tara combines sharks with Reid’s tribute to the sharks of the plant world, as it “incorporates a plethora of ‘lavender’ colored flowers, which is Tara’s favorite color.” (Her other favorite color is “shark.”)