Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The Bachelorette returns, now with endless vibrator jokes

Kaitlyn Bristowe, Tayshia Adams, and Katie Thurston in The Bachelorette
Kaitlyn Bristowe, Tayshia Adams, and Katie Thurston in The Bachelorette
Photo: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Here’s what’s happening in the world of television for Monday, June 7. All times are Eastern. 

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Top pick

The Bachelorette (ABC, 8 p.m., season-17 premiere): The Bachelor franchise doesn’t stop, even when it probably should, so here we are, staring down the barrel of another season of ludicrous costumes from cannon-fodder contestants, uncomfortable amounts of sloppy kissing paired with triumphant love music, and fireworks only rivaled in their predictability by the ones that go boom on Independence Day. Run up to your television, then jump into its arms and wrap your legs around it, because it’s go time.

Like the nightmare season of The Bachelor that preceded it, this season of The Bachelorette is a COVID season, so expect to see the 15 different angles of the same hotel lobby over and over again. Another thing you’re likely to get over and over again? Vibrator jokes, because this season’s lead, Katie Thurston, is the one who brought the vibrator last season. So, she’s vibrator girl now. That’s how it works. Tonight she’ll meet a firefighter trainee, a bartender, a motivational speaker, a dancer, a “business owner,” a guy who sells zippers, an insurance agent or two, and a “surgical skin salesman,” to name the professions of but a few of her prospective suitors, assuming they’re not secretly two kids in a trench coat. Look for a recap by chronic Bachelor franchise sucker Gwen Ihnat after the premiere.

Regular coverage

Wild card

Ms. Fisher’s Modern Murder Mysteries (Acorn TV, 3:01 a.m., season-two premiere): Phryne Fisher’s long-lost niece Peregrine (Geraldine Hakewill) takes up her aunt’s role as Melbourne’s nattiest sleuth in this spin-off of the popular Australian mysteries-with-great-hats series.

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves TV, bourbon, and overanalyzing social interactions. Please buy her book, How TV Can Make You Smarter (Chronicle, 2020). It’s short!