The FBI’s glossary of Twitter slang is just terrible

By Rob Dean | June 18, 2014 | 4:44pm

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The FBI’s glossary of Twitter slang is just terrible

With the millions of Twitter feeds, Facebook profiles, and various other websites, it can be hard for government organizations to know if the people they are spying upon are making them LOL or LMFAO. Luckily the FBI has gone to great lengths (and spending millions of dollars) to track all of these various uses of acronyms, 1337 speak, and other Internet slang — compiling their results in an 83 page glossary that is both incredibly expansive and woefully outdated. The glossary’s existence has become public knowledge thanks to a Freedom Of Information Act request by the group Muckrock, and has since become the subject of much ridicule. The guide was compiled to help agents better understand terms used in “instant messages, Facebook and Myspace” — with that last reference showing the glossary’s antiquated nature and reminding everyone of their old, abandoned friend Tom. Many of the terms have only been used a scant number of times on Twitter, with some of the highlights being compiled by The Washington Post including:

BOGSAT (“bunch of guys sitting around talking”) — 144 tweets
BTDTGTTSAWIO (“been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and wore it out”) — 47 tweets
DITYID (“did I tell you I’m depressed?”) — 69 tweets
HCDAJFU (“he could do a job for us”) — 25 tweets
IAWTCSM (“I agree with this comment so much”) — 20 tweets
IITYWIMWYBMAD (“if I tell you what it means will you buy me a drink?”) — 250 tweets
PMYMHMMFSWGAD (“pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn”) — 128 tweets
SOMSW (“someone over my shoulder watching) — 170 tweets
WAPCE (“women are pure concentrated evil”) — 233 tweets

All the ZeroCools and Crash Overrides out there should be aware that the government’s various grandfathers and grandmothers are on to their secret, impenetrable language. Expect a lot more texts and emails asking to become IFF (”Internet Friends Forever”) or to participate in a W4W (”whore for whore (mutual support of Myspace pages)”).