The Red Sonja movie has a new writer, might actually happen

By Sam Barsanti | March 1, 2015 | 5:36pm

Aux Features Film

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Nu Image/Millennium’s long-delayed Red Sonja movie has a new writer, suggesting that maybe it’ll actually happen now. Red Sonja, for anyone who doesn’t read comic books about beheading people, is a series that stars a red-haired and mostly naked barbarian woman—the eponymous Red Sonja—who does the sort of things a barbarian would do. She’s mostly known for having red hair and wearing a metal bikini, though. Shockingly, she was created by two men, Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith, who worked on Marvel’s Conan The Barbarian comics in the ‘70s. An earlier Red Sonja movie came out in 1985 that starred Brigitte Nielsen as Sonja and Arnold Schwarzenegger as a guy who was clearly supposed to be Conan, and Robert Rodriguez tried to get a remake off the ground recently that would’ve starred his then-girlfriend Rose McGowan.

Now, all of that has been scrapped, and the only thing we know for sure is that a guy named Christopher Cosmos is writing a new Red Sonja script. If IMDB is to be believed, Cosmos’ only proper film credit came from being a producers’ assistant on Russell Brand’s Arthur remake, and while it might seem like a big leap from that to Red Sonja, we have it on good authority that Russell Brand is a big fan of wearing metal bikinis and stabbing things. THR says Cosmos has sold a handful of scripts, though, so—to be fair—he’s not really a nobody. Either way, we just hope the studios can find an actress who is talented enough to…have red hair and be willing to wear pretty much nothing for a whole movie.