The Taken trilogy reduced to 90 numbing seconds of pure carnage

Liam Neeson probably could not have guessed, when he first hired on to portray retired CIA agent Bryan Mills in 2008’s Taken, that he would be applying his “particular set of skills” to a franchise spanning three movies, six years, and so many kidnappings that even the most diligent critics probably lost count of them. Despite or perhaps because of the qualms of critics, the quasi-fascist film was one of Neeson’s biggest hits without the words Star Wars in the title, and suddenly, the actor was a late-blooming action star. Now, the experts at Burger Fiction (“We make videos about movies”) have helpfully condensed the entire Taken trilogy, which runs about five blood-spattered hours, into a mere 90 seconds of nearly undiluted violence with only the slightest of nods to plot and/or character.