Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The World Is Madonna's Dance Floor

Madonna's new "Confessions (of a Leotard) Tour," is slated to start in LA on May 21, and she wants you to think she has big, badass things planned. You know, like she used to. Remember when Madonna turned the world into her own private masturbation suite (The Blond Ambition Tour) or when she turned the world into one big dominatrix dungeon (The Girlie Show Tour) or when she turned the world into one big, weird World's Fair (The Drowned World Tour)? Well, this is just like that. Sort of. A press release for the tour reads:

Madonna issued the following mission statement regarding the Confessions Tour: "I'm going to turn the world into one big dance floor," exhorted the Material Girl.

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"Exhorted"? Damn. Still, "turning the world into one big dance floor," hasn't been a badass goal since the movie Footloose––and they just wanted one town in Nebraska, not the whole world. So, how much does it cost to step onto the gigantic, pulsating world dance floor for one evening?

Tickets will be $350/$165/$95/$55

It's a lot, yes. But Madonna will probably break out her good leotard and matching corset-thingy for the occasion.

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Illustration for article titled The World Is Madonnas Dance Floor

What's everyone else think? How sick are you of Madonna's overinflated tours? And which cultures do you think she'll appropriate for her own personal use this time? I'm betting on

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Israeli.

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