Finally, a collection of Breaking Bad recipes that won’t land you in jail at best or bleeding to death on the floor of a meth lab at worst. The pun-heavy recipe collection, entitled Baking Bad, promises “Great recipes. No meth-in around” as concocted by the presumably pseudonymous Walter Wheat. The book will be available in print form (in the UK) and as an e-book (wherever) beginning November 6, but Buzzfeed UK has several recipes from the book, including “Mr. White’s Tighty Whitey Bites,” “Jesse’s Jell-O Acid Tub,” and “Meth Crunchies.” And here’s the recipe for “Blue Meth Crunch” candy, courtesy of The Guardian:
INGREDIENTS
118ml water
177ml light corn syrup
14oz/350g granulated sugar
2 tsp (10ml) peppermint extract
Blue gel food colouring
You will need a sugar thermometer.
Do not use chili powder. It’s for amateurs
DOSAGE
5 people
DIRECTIONS
1. Line a baking tray with aluminum foil, or use a heatproof glass tray. Spray with non-stick baking spray.
2. Find yourself a decent accomplice. Underachieving ex-students are a good choice, though psychologically fragile.
3. In a medium saucepan, combine the water, corn syrup and sugar. Stir the mixture over medium heat until the sugar dissolves, then turn up the heat to bring to a boil. Stop stirring and insert the thermometer and use a pastry brush dipped in water to wet the sides of the pan (this will prevent crystals forming).
4. Cook the mixture until the temperature reaches 285F/140C. Immediately remove the pan from the heat and take out the thermometer. Let the mixture stand until all the bubbles have stopped forming on the surface.
5. At some point you’re going to need a distributor. But don’t worry about that now.
6. Add a few drops of peppermint flavouring and enough blue colour to give the correct ‘Blue Meth’ hue.
7. Quickly pour the mixture onto the baking tray, lifting the tray from side to side to spread the mix. Don’t worry if it’s not perfectly smooth or has holes in it. Let the candy cool to room temperature.
8 Once the candy has cooled, use a hammer to break it up. Put into little plastic baggies or serve as is, whichever your clients prefer.
And for those too lazy to cook or attempt to understand the metric system, there’s always Etsy.