The hit sitcom Seinfeld produced any number of classic episodes during its nine-season run on NBC from 1989 to 1998: “The Soup Nazi,” “The Puffy Shirt,” “The Contest,” and more. And now a Pittsburgh-based fan named Doug Keener has created a ghoulish, blood-soaked coda to the series that could be termed “The First Person Shooter.” In this quasi-episode, which combines elements of the sitcom with the popular 1994 video game Doom II: Hell On Earth, an unseen, gun-toting psychopath stalks the halls of Jerry’s iconic Manhattan apartment building and picks off Seinfeld and his pals one by one. It could almost be considered a mercy killing, though, since the once witty characters have now become mindless automatons who march stiffly around the room spouting catchphrases from the series. “These pretzels are making me thirsty,” Kramer mindlessly observes, seconds before his demise.
Who could be behind these killings? Newman, perhaps? No, that scheming mailman is killed off here, too. Perhaps someone unwisely entrusted “Crazy” Joe Davola with a firearm. A Doom/Seinfeld crossover might seem far-fetched, but Doom II came out during Seinfeld’s run, so the title character could have played the game on the computer in his apartment. Nothing like a first-person shooter to relieve some Bania-related tension.