Things that do not rock: Camp Rock 2, School Of Rock 2
Making open mockery of the word, today came news of two sequels to movies with "rock" in their title—neither of which, by definition, particularly rock. The first was inevitable: Camp Rock, the latest phase of Disney's nefarious plan to create a Golem powered by the squeals of prepubescent girls, was a smash hit right out of the gate, so by the time it premiered you can bet The Jonas Brothers' pure virgin blood was already drying on a contract for the sequel. But the second project is leagues more, um, evitable: School Of Rock 2—a proposed follow-up to that sort-of-funny Jack Black vehicle which already had a nice beginning, middle, and most importantly, end—is reportedly on the table, with writer Mike White admitting that the very idea brings even him to tears: