This Week In Terrifying Hybrids: 1. NASCAR + Harlequin Romance Novels =

Apparently, NASCAR's female fans are 26% more likely than normal females to read romance novels. (Read more about that

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here). Or maybe watching NASCAR makes females 26% less likely to respond to actual male contact. Whatever. Either way, they find reading things like this sexy, and sleeping on things like this even sexier. 2. Bjork + Choreography + "On The Town" =

I realize that most current theater pieces are just pieces of other things (tv shows, movies, books) smooshed together and set to music, but

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this project seems very ambitious. A story based on On The Town, set to the music of Bjork, with modern ballet choreography, AND it's an AIDS benefit? That's, well, a lot. 3. The L-Word + Fan Fiction = A Fanisode

Oh God, yes! Now the fans can finally control the all hand-sex and the random crazy-Jenny tasering. Well, they'll be able to control it on the Internet, at least.

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4. John Malkovich + A Penchant For Jaunty Tweeds + The Internet = JohnMalkovich.org Now you too can dress like a foppish, wannabe professor!

5. Ashlee Simpson + David Lee Roth's hair = Somehow Ashlee Simpson again I'm serious. Check out this extremely scientific photo-study.

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This is the cover of

National Geographic next week.

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