At one point in this week's True Blood, Sam and Tara share a drink and reminisce on old times and it's like a perfect storm of boredom. No offence to Rutina Wesley or Sam Trammell, but it's a great example of how this show suffers when it's not put on the backs of good actors. Amazingly, the "Eric's amnesia" storyline wasn't completely awful this week (although it is inherently a cheesy plot) and that's largely because Alexander Skarsgard just knows what he's doing. The same goes for a most of the characters on this show; the ensemble has always been strong enough to carry off some of the worst twists and turns.
But we’re at the point where so many of the plots (Jason getting turned into a panther, Andy getting hooked on V, Tara's whatever, Sam's whatever, Tommy's whatever, fairy godmothers) are so incoherent/abysmal that a freakin' pantheon of Shakespearean greats couldn't save this show. The Tara/Sam scene, complete with lame flirting and clunky dialogue, could have come right out of a Patrick Swayze movie from the 80s. When True Blood has enough panache, it can pull that shit off; but its panache quotient seems to be less and less these days.
I tried to keep track of just what the mythology of the panthers nippin' at Jason was; I picked up something about ghost daddies and sky people but the whole thing seems like another excuse to get Ryan Kwanten into a shirtless configuration. The sight of him being ridden by Crystal, with all the other women of Hotshot lining up to go next, was more horrifying than erotic, but it's still notable that every time Jason tries a new direction in life, he quickly ends up shirtless and pinned by a woman to a bed. He's also being kept from the rest of the action as he always is; Sam's always caught up in his own plotline that intersects with the rest of the show only at the very end of the season. He's never been a particularly forceful subject, what with the quizzical babyface and his tendency to get suckered into something by everyone he meets.
But this panther stuff really takes the cake. If I cared about the Crystal character at all, I'd be wondering why all the work they did with her last season seems to be going out the window; sure, we've been told she's hooked on V, but this still seems like it'll be difficult for her to recover her relationship with Sam afterwards. Even if he does turn into a panther. Really, the larger question is, why did we spend so much time on Hotshot last season to have all this happen this year? You could have compressed the twelve episodes of nothing we suffered through and gotten to Sam tied to a bed much faster.
The episode was called "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin'?" which was suitable considering all the fucked-up relationships on display. Alcide made an unwelcome return (although I'm sure he and his abs have their fans around the country) and his girlfriend Debbie, even more unwelcome, is also back — not only is she obviously there as an obstacle for Sookie's pursuit of Alcide, but she's not even crazy anymore, just boring and reformed. Aside from giving us all that info, the scene was utterly pointless, although it did remind us just how little chemistry Anna Paquin has with Joe Manganiello.
You've also got the continuing ballad of Sam and Tommy Merlotte, which, as I noted, had a hopeful lilt to it in the last episode. But quickly we learn that Tommy is back to his thievin' ways, planning to steal Maxine's house from under her to get at the natural gas underneath. At the same time, he's back to his stupid idiot ways, since he immediately tells Sam what he's planning and then is stunned to find out Sam is a high-and-mighty dude who likes to yell at people who are being jerks. I don't know how Tommy read his partial reconciliation with Sam last week as "please involve me in your criminal schemes to rob old ladies" but he's just dumb enough that it's plausible, I suppose.