Because you can’t bring the world to the brink of nuclear war on Twitter all the time, Donald Trump took a break from eroding the public discourse online this morning to address one of the few American demographic groups not yet willing to admit what a moron he is: evangelical “values voters.” That “values” bit is more than a bit ironic, given that the man of whom there are literal paintings of Jesus guiding his hand as he signs some unenforceable executive order is also the embodiment of greed, dishonesty, adultery, bigotry, and all the other sins Jesus preached against. But hey, what’s a little hypocrisy as long as baristas can’t force you to acknowledge religions besides Christianity, right?
At the summit, Trump indulged at length in the sin of hubris, praising his own efforts to eliminate healthcare for impoverished Americans—a key tenet of the “pro-life” agenda. (Again, what’s a few dead Americans if we can prevent women from controlling their own reproductive health?) “We know that it’s the family and the church—not government officials—who know best how to create strong and loving communities,” he said. He added, “We don’t worship government, we worship God,” before muddying the message by praising himself some more for “defending” veneration of the American flag.
“We are stopping cold the attacks on Judeo-Christian values,” Trump went on to say, receiving rapturous applause from people whose quality standards have been permanently eroded by listening to Christian rock music: