TV's most memorable breakups

God, where do we even start on Martin’s terrible, perfect breakup speech? A note to anyone reading this who may be on the brink of divorce or facing down and otherwise crumbling relationship: “Fine, I tried to kiss your sister on her birthday” (it was actually Claire’s birthday!) isn’t a great place to kick off your plea to win them back. Claire’s awful soon to be ex bombs in spectacular fashion from there on out. Fleabag’s own dialogue gets a lot of love on the internet and for good reason, but this speech is a great reminder that was really firing on all cylinders while writing every character in this show. “I’m not a bad guy, I just have a bad personality! It’s not my fault. Some people are born with fucked personalities” and “You wanna know what the bassoon is? It’s a cry for help!” are two of this speech’s greatest hits, but the whole thing—including Claire and her wonky haircut begging Martin on her knees to leave her—is absolutely worth revisiting, especially if you need a bit of a salve from the devastation of “it’ll pass.” [Emma Keates]

Realizing your dream girl is “kind of boring” ain’t easy. And that’s just what happens to Sam, who comes to this conclusion when his new GF, cheerleader Cindy, despises The Jerk and the family heirloom he gifted her, among other irreconcilable differences. (Neal retorts, when Sam confesses this, that he’d “kill to be that bored.”) Sam achieved something of an impossible feat by getting Cindy to go out with him, making the rare early ’80s high school leap from the geeks to the popular kids, only to bittersweetly learn he has no interest in being around these “pod people,” as Neal calls them. [Tim Lowery]

Say what you will about , but season three’s “The One With The Morning After” is an all-timer of a TV episode. The unraveling of Ross and Rachel’s relationship was designed to puncture the heart. And it does, mostly thanks to the writing and also the sincerity with which David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston play out the scenes. There’s betrayal, anger, frustration, loneliness, misery, and everything a couple goes through when they’re fighting tooth and nail about whether or not they still belong together. Maybe they do, but as Rachel asks him poetically when he says, “This can’t be it”: “Then how come it is?” Cue the tears. [Saloni Gajjar]

Where to begin with Mark and Lexie, low-key best couple (sorry to Meredith and Derek)? An unexpected romance bloomed between them in season five, only to take us on a roller-coaster ride until they died at the end of season eight. In retrospect, they were always doomed, huh? It’s pretty freaking awful each time they fight. But nothing breaks me more than when Lexie realizes Mark slept with Callie while they weren’t together and now she’s pregnant with his child. This is after the reason for breakup No. 1 was Mark inviting his pregnant adult daughter—whom he had just met—. Understandably, Lexie doesn’t want to be a mother (she’s young!), while Mark has to fulfill his fatherly duties. It’s inevitable but crushing to hear Lexie angrily, tearfully ask him, “How the hell did you get me in this position twice?” [Saloni Gajjar]

We’ll take “TV Breakups We’re Still Angry About” for $500, Alex. did in its finale (we won’t even talk about the mother), but one of the most egregious by far was writing off Robin and Barney’s seasons-long romance as a cheap excuse to have Ted sweep back in at the end. Was their divorce after three years of marriage earned? No. Was it well written? Also no. But this list is about memorable breakups, and we certainly haven’t forgotten or forgiven Carter Bays and Craig Thomas for this one just yet. So instead of watching their brief confession of divorce, why not revisit Barney’s proposal (above) instead? [Emma Keates]

Okay, this one feels like cheating a little bit because Nick and Jess do eventually get back together. Thank god. But still made us sit through a devastating breakup scene and then wait for them to finally reunite. (Here’s that all-timer if you want to relive it.) Near the end of season three, our favorite odd couple mutually realize that they’re too incompatible to date and are better off as friends. Luckily, in the end, they both just had some growing up to do. [Emma Keates]

Alexis and Ted’s breakup on easily ranks among the most heartbreaking on this list, simply for the fact that there was no devastating breakup speech where each partner got to air their dirty laundry and move on. Between Alexis’ budding PR firm and Ted’s once-in-a-lifetime research opportunity in the Galapagos, the two were simply on different paths and had the good sense to end the relationship amicably with one last shared meal rather than sacrifice either of their respective dreams to try to make it work. It was the right decision for them and for the show, but it didn’t make it any easier for fans who had come to love the sweet, initially mismatched lovebirds. [Emma Keates]

Season four was a big, increasingly devastating train wreck for Pinky and one half of the Disgusting Brothers. While it’s hard to peg the specific moment either Shiv or Tom’s heart rips in half (as can be done further down this list), the hits just kept on coming. From their resigned decision to move on from their relationship at the end of (“”) to the progressively claustrophobic and furious realization that it would never be that simple, Shiv and Tom’s relationship across the entirety of had enough drama to keep a team of therapists busy for at least a full year. To this day, Tom’s accusation that Shiv is “maybe not a good person to have children” is one of the coldest lines ever uttered on television, but hey, at least they (and we) will always have Bitey. [Emma Keates]

“It’s a bold move, to photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael’s a bold guy. Is ‘bold’ the right word?” That last question, to the camera, might just be my favorite line delivered by Jim (John Krasinski) over all of ’s 200-plus episodes. And in season three’s supremely rewatchable “,” witnessing Michael (Steve Carell) go from grinning idiot to weeping idiot—in such a short amount of time, no less—thanks to his breakup with Carol (Nancy Carell, the star’s wife) always delivers. [Tim Lowery]

Unlike most of the entries on this list, Lisa Simpson’s utter (and televised!) destruction of Ralph Wiggum’s dopey little heart isn’t notable for the duration of the relationship it’s blowing up but for the intensity. Few moments of TV torment have ever captured the horrifying playground realization that your crush just doesn’t like you better than fourth season episode “”—and that’s before Lisa’s brother Bart goes to the tape to use freeze-frame on Ralph’s moment of devastation, pinpointing “the second his heart rips in half.” [William Hughes]

Yes, Logan (Jason Dohring) and Veronica (Kristen Bell) have memorable breakups, but which would you say is the most memorable? The one where she accused him of killing his ex-girlfriend Lilly, ending their whirlwind affair for the first time? The one that technically happened between seasons, when the grief of losing his mother and his father going to prison made him dangerously volatile and forced them apart? The one in college, when a more mature Logan devastatingly observes, “I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now, or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later”? Or the second college breakup, when Veronica finds out that Logan slept with her worst enemy while they were on a break? After that one, everyone’s favorite messed-up teens needed a decade or so to cool off before finally coming back together in the movie. [Mary Kate Carr]