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Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Tyra Banks One-Upped By BBC

Throughout America's Next Top Model's 10-cycle/season reign of stupidity, Emmy Award Winner™ Tyra Banks has heavily relied on stunt disability casting to spice up the contestant pool. Over the years the show has had a legally blind contestant, a contestant with Asperger's Syndrome, multiple plus size or "real size" contestants (definitely a disability when it comes to modeling), a contestant who clearly has some kind of undiagnosed shout-speech disorder (Jaslene), a contestant who underwent female circumcision, and a Russian mail order bride contestant (not a physical, mental, or developmental disability, but definitely a lifestyle disability). Still, Tyra has yet to find an aspiring model in a wheelchair, or that holy grail of stunt disability casting: the aspiring model who happens to be an amputee—which means that when Tyra finds out about BBC 3's upcoming Britain's Missing Top Model, she's no doubt going to salivate (with her eyes!), and keel over in a fit of pure envy.

Even though Britain's Missing Top Model makes the show sound like an episode of 48 Hours: Mystery, instead of what it is, Britain's Next Top Heather Mills, somewhere Tyra Banks is very, very angry she didn't make this happen first. How can the next cycle/season of ANTM even hope to top an show made up entirely of disabled contestants? I bet Tyra is personally scouring Tourette's support groups and little people conventions as we speak like some kind of bewigged, eye-smiling P.T. Barnum, trying to convince the prettiest girls she can find there that, "No, shouting obscenities and uncontrollable facial tics won't affect your ability to get a good beauty shot," and "Of course 4'6" is tall enough for runway!"


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