UFC's Dana White appears to accept job offer to be Trump's new press secretary

Per Reuters, Trump posted the job offer on Saturday afternoon, writing that, “I am pleased to announce that the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior, has been offered the job of Press Secretary of the United States.” Accompanied by what looks to be an AI-generated picture of White standing at a White House press podium, the post also invited White to “bring with him assistants, even though some are not from our Country, of Islam Makhachev, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Justin Gaethje, Daniel Cormier, Amanda Nunes, and Kayla Harris.” (Also all pictured, in the midst of various UFC bouts, as one does when issuing official presidential job offers.) The joke, if it is a joke, is that Trump feels he needs these UFC fighters to “defend us against the Lunatic Left,” presumably by hitting them very hard and grappling them into submission when they ask questions he doesn’t like, about, say, getting the crap kicked out of him in last week’s midterm elections, or whether he feels the need to project a six-year-old’s vision of masculinity to puff himself back up after such a public set of losses.

Although he has no formal press training that we’re aware of, White has spent many years as the extremely vocal face of a company built around selling the spectacle of raw, ugly violence as good and wholesome fun, which does feel like a job skill this particular administration might prize. (Did you know he also runs a league for “slap fighting,” in which fighters take turns trying to slap each other until they can’t stand? You learn something new, and gross, every day.) For what it’s worth, White posted an update to his Instagram Story this afternoon, seeming to accept the job, posting a picture of himself at the Press Room podium with the caption “On to the next chapter.”