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Watching More Than One Minute Of Gay Porn Is Really, Really Embarrassing

Moment Of Truth, the Fox lie detector game show that can't even make watching someone ruin their life even mildly interesting, is back! And it appears that for the show's second season, the producers are looking to inject a bit of personality into their roster of questions. Unfortunately, that "bit of personality" was probably derived after repeated watchings of I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry because it could also be called, "severe homophobia and gay panic."



Just to recap: Watching more than a "single minute" of gay pornography totally means you're probably gay, and that is completely, hilariously embarrassing. If you watch, say, 59 seconds of gay pornography--which, incidentally, is just enough time for the message "Two guys naked = gay. AGH! Must stop watching before I turn gay!" to wind its way through your synapses--then you can still call yourself heterosexual, because you didn't give the gayness enough time to root in your brain, destroy your attraction to women, and plant insidious, gay desires there. Thanks for identifying the gay threshold, Fox!

In addition, finding a friend of the same sex attractive is incredibly humiliating, because then you are probably, almost definitely gay. Other things that make you probably, almost definitely gay (which is humiliating): admitting that another man is handsome, smiling for more than 30 seconds in a gentle rainstorm, and putting your hand on another man's shoulder for more than a single minute (even during a funeral, or if one of you is a fireman rescuing the other from a fiery building).

The follow-up to that second gay panic question was, "Have you ever gone to church just to meet women?" Therefore, being probably, almost definitely gay is more embarrassing than vanity (the first question of the game was: "When walking past a mirror, do you stop to check yourself out?") but less embarrassing than picking up ladies in church: Progress.

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