Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Ways to be more like a Performer at the Grammys

Twenty-seven acts, a whole choir, and four cartoon characters are going to be performing at tonight's Grammys, which apparently is some kind of record. Here are a few easy ways to be more like them: 1. Use Mariahisms

Illustration for article titled Ways to be more like a Performer at the Grammys
Advertisement

What's a Mariahism? They're unique words and phrases that Mariah Carey coined all by herself, and which she uses freely in her everyday life. She therefore owns them. Words like: "Okaaaaaay," (used with sarcasam when Mariah is unsure of the situation. In other words, "you do what you want, but whatever"), and "Complete And Total Joke," (which is a variation of "Complete Joke" and "Complete Mess"). Here's a handy guide, straight from the

source herself. A few Mariahisms not included on that page are "Hi" (word that Mariah uses when greeting people), as well as "And" (a connective word that Mariah uses when listing things. For example: "I need my votive candles, soothing incense, AND chilled Cristal in my dressing room now!"). 2. Pierce your nipple, then never shut up about it Also, keep showing it off. Kind of like Christina Aguilera. If you're not into piercings, you can fake it.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Ways to be more like a Performer at the Grammys

Ebay can help. 3. Attach yourself to anything British Like Madonna, who has a British husband, a weird Britain-via-Detroit accent, a collaboration with a British cartoon band, and who likes to vacation in parts of the former British empire. 4. Pretend that you were influenced by Sly and the Family Stone That way, maybe you too can perform in the Sly and the Family Stone tribute tonight. It worked for Joss Stone, John Legend, and Maroon 5… Any others?

Share This Story

Get our newsletter