What The Return Of Captain EO Means
If you love honoring the memory of Michael Jackson and standing in unnecessary lines—and everyone who loves honoring the memory of Michael Jackson loves standing in unneccessary lines—then today is your lucky day, because Disneyland is re-releasing Captain EO, and apparently everyone is waiting in line to see it for some reason.
Fans decked out in futuristic garb formed a line early Tuesday to see the return of the Michael Jackson film "Captain EO" to Disneyland after a 13-year hiatus.
Why wait in line for hours to watch Captain EO at Disneyland when you could just pluck your eyeballs out and roll them over a Muppets poster while listening to Bad, and get the same effect?
Oh, right. Because waiting in line to watch a bad Michael Jackson short film at Disneyland is the best way to "honor" Michael Jackson—which is something we should all strive to do as much as possible. (At night, before you go to sleep, ask yourself: "How did I honor Michael Jackson today? How can I honor him even more tomorrow?")