Whenever people ask me, "What is the number one sound you would never, ever want to hear?" (a question I get all the time), I generally say that it's a tie between the cacophonous clanging that fills one's ears just before death, and "Where Is The Love?" by the Black Eyed Peas. A serious discussion about NASCAR would probably be #3, and a million tires screeching to a halt in an ampitheater full of crying infants would be #4.

But I've always said that the number 5 sound I would never, ever want to hear is a special, 25th-anniversary-of-Thriller cover of "Wanna Be Startin Somethin'" featuring Will.i.am, Akon, and Michael Jackson. (Coincidentally, that is also my answer to "What's the most unneccessary, irritating, scraping-the-bottom-of-the-pop-music-recycle-bin idea for a single you can think of?")

Unfortunately, someone has decided to turn my greatest nightmares into realities:

In case you were wondering what it's like to work alongside the eerie, pale husk of Michael Jackson, Akon said it's pretty much like outer space, or something:

I used to sit and think, 'How does somebody sell so many records and dominate a whole business genre to a point [where] nobody can't be a part of that without associating with you?' The way he thinks … some artists think regional, some think national, I was thinking international. He thinks planets. It's on another level.

Finally ass-kissing has gone intergalatic! Thanks, Akon!