Arson Welles
John Wayne’s Teeth
Bobby’s Oar

Madam West
Yoko And The Oh No’s
Hillary Chillton

President Bill Clinton

• Co-winner, Least Effective Name For Googling

The Roalde Dahls

• Influences, per Facebook: “Kevin Spacey in K-Pax”

Stallone The Reducer
Narc Twain

Frasier And The Cranes

• Song titles: “Titles Are For Bands With Fans,” “I Can See Up Ur Skirt,” “Six-Hundred Unread Emails”

Lost Gorbachevs

• This Portuguese band plays jazzgrind (jazz-inflected grindcore) with a pronounced sociopolitical slant, judging by its song titles: “Constructive Subcapitalist Theory,” “Precapitalist Sublimation,” “Society Is Part Of The Absurdity Of Art,” “Mythopoetical Nihilism,” and, uh, “Cona Anal” (“Anal Cunt”).

Brucexcampbell

• Naturally, this grindcore group’s Bandcamp page can be found at evildash.bandcamp.com, and the cover of 2013’s Hail To The King looks like this:

• Bio: “We are a four piece crust grind noise never ending force of nature. Our origins are unknown, but our task in life is to defeat the evil that dwells within life’s cycle, which is the madness that grows with power.”

Chicano Batman
Cautious Clay
Indiana Jones & The Rio Piedras

• “Formerly known as: Keef & His Beef”
  

Vietrahm

• Take that, embattled mayor of Chicago!

Charlie Down
Useless Grant

Pop culture references

Red Dawn II
Where The Sidewalk Ends

You, Me, And Everyone We Know
Venkman

• Awesome URLs: venkmanburninhell.bandcamp.com, facebook.com/venkmanburninhell
• The longest song on this year’s Slumber Party is 1:27 (“Big McLargeHuge”), with the shortest clocking in at a scant three seconds (“Firetruck”).

Frisco Dykes

Growwing Pains

• “Genre: ANXIETY POP”

My God, It’s Full Of Stars
The Damn Dirty Apes

• Cheesy homemade music video with strippers? Check.

Watcher’s Woods

• Specified genres: anti-civ post-punk, tree goths, anarcho-deathrock, queer darkwave. But this is a pretty metal album cover:

O-Face
Benny The Jet Rodriguez
The Pac Men

• “The Pac Men are the most hired 80s dance band for private parties in Southern California. They involve your guests as part of their show. They offer zany ‘adult only’ shows or family shows depending on what you desire.” Wow, the most hired?!

Triangulo De Amor Bizarro
Phone Home

• Genre: spacecore, naturally—though the song title “I Went And Got A Gatorade” doesn’t sound sound like a line from E.T.

Negro Galacticus

The Simpsons still inspire
Okilly Dokilly

• This headline from the Independent says it all: “There is a Ned Flanders-themed metal band called Okilly Dokilly”

Worker/parasite

Hockey Dad

• All the bonus points for this band description: “Feel the drunken wrath of Chuck Shadowski”

So does Seinfeld

The Penske File
My God, The Heat

• Former member: El Ron Chubbard.
• Lyrics of “The Continuing Decline Of Customer Service In The Food And Beverage Industry”: “Man that waiter, he knows a lot about music / Man that waiter, he knows a lot about amps / Man that waiter, he knows a lot about everything but pouring coffee / Someone grab that waiter and have him get us napkins if you get a chance.”
• Other songs: “Someday Baby, You Will Miss These Dance Moves,” “Our City, Our Shithole,” “Born To Co-Sign,” “I Am A Very Selfish Lover With Specific Selfish Needs,” “A Hug Will Only Make It Worse.”

More band names inspired by Rushmore, please

Mr. Little Jeans

• Best play ever, man.

O.R. They?

• Double points for this album title: Did Somebody Say Our Names? Who would’ve guessed the genre is hip-hop?

Star Wars, pre-Episode VII

Ch3wbacca
Bearcoon Ewok

Brands that probably aren’t pleased

Amtrac
Ne-Hi
The A.V. Club

• Some history for you, pretender A.V. Club, a.k.a. “members of Chicago’s top working and original music bands”: In 2005, the White House told Onion Inc. to stop using the presidential seal. Our legal team told them to shove it. Don’t fuck with us. Also, describing your collective as “a Saturday Night Live sort of band” that delivers “a wildly organic and original sound” will do nothing but earn further mockery from us.

DJ Windows98

• Better known as Arcade Fire’s Win Butler, dressed like some kind of desperado.

Shit

Shitnoise Bastards
Shit Fucking Shit

ShitFun

• Genre: “serial killer grindcore,” which doesn’t sound all that fun. The band’s moniker is presumably taken from the 1995 Autopsy album of the same name.

Shit Of Satan
Shit Giver

• Genre: “gothic delaycore”

Total Fucking Shit
Shitty Boots

• Facebook band description: “Born in a barrel of butcher knives, and sleeping on a bed of cobras. Raleigh’s very worst people.”

Fuck

Fuck Your Birthday
Fuck You, Idiot
The Fucktons
Fucko

Breasts

L.A. Boobs

• Could a band description sound less enticing than “a side project of The Pizza Underground”?

Tits Of Clay

• This is a band composed of the members of The Angry Inch from Broadway, and the band name comes from a lyric in that show. Please link to your Jars Of Clay/Hedwig And The Angry Inch mash-ups in the comments.
  

Lil Tits
Low Cut Connie

Penises

Dick Pics

• Hey, don’t try to hide that you’re a Grateful Dead cover band, guys. We’re onto you.

Jew Cocks

Milk Dick
Rapist With No Penis

• You probably remember their split with Vomitoma on Splatterfuck Tapes.

Stuff that comes out of penises

Young Cum
Spewing Cum

• Young Cum and Spewing Cum played a show together in New York in October. Sadly, the two other bands on the bill, Hounds Basket and Greasy Hearts, didn’t go by Hounds Cum and Greasy Cum for the show.

Ludlow Ejacula
Parasitic Ejaculation
Cum Sock

Pissgrave
Piss Junkie

Skulls

Bloody Death Skull

• Metal name, but the group self-describes as a “ukulele-fronted, sock-hop party band.”
• Lyrics from super-catchy song “Sky Ferreira”: “To make money in 2008 / A friend of mine answered an ad to drive a man in a wheelchair to have sex with a prostitute / To make money in 2008 / A friend of mine posted an ad to sell her dirty underwear online to men who would use it to masturbate.” The titular chanteuse isn’t mentioned until later: “Sky Ferreira, tell me how to wear my hair like that.”

Skullshitter

Various body parts

Clit Kat
Forest Of Tongue
Blunt Fang
Spiteful Womb

• Winner, Album Cover Too Gross To Post Here

Prom Body
Bodies Be Rivers
The Heads Are Zeros

• “Their extremely loud and fast music has won the hearts of tens, perhaps dozens, of people.”

Viscera

Scattered Guts
Visceral Disgorge

• This Maryland metal band currently has a GoFundMe campaign to cover its planned 2016 expenses, which include recording a new album (and all the expenses that entails), touring, video(s), and merch. It’s not going well:

Medical diagnosis or band name?

Disgorgement Of Intestinal Lymphatic Suppuration

• The band’s 2007 album is 47 tracks, most of which are under 30 seconds and hit all the usual medical-dictionary goofiness, though track 42 is called “The Impotence Of Being Earnest.”

Urinary Tract Infection From Severe Pus Clots
Bundled Bowels

Ampallang Infection

• Song: “Colostomy Bag Piñata”

Hemorrhoidal Anal Suffering

Dark name, bro

Entombed In The Abyss

• “If you like slammin’ music and heavy breakdowns then check us out!”

Fit For An Autopsy

Gender studies and human sexuality

MS MR
Wymyns Prysyn
Gender Poutine
All Boy/All Girl
No Girls Allowed

• Album: Songs In The Key Of F Yourself, featuring “Hurry Up And Put Your Dick In Me.”

Genderqueer Death Squad

• Per Facebook, band description: “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re anarchists, we’ll folk you up!”

TRNSGNDR/VHS
Forced Into Femininity
Dyke Drama
Southern Queers

Sexy times

Bukkake Violence Kommando

• The band had a tape on Rotting Abortion Records, which you probably remember from that great Putrid Whore/WhoreEvil split in 2008.

Pleasure Leftists
Fat Ass Fuckers
Sexy Fights
Sextile
Zombie X Incest
Slow Porn

• Band bio/mission statement: “Remain (Meant Rds) & Phred (La dame Noir Rds) teaming up to play Slow & Indecent Music On A Wet Tempo All Night Long.”

Various religious references

Dildo Of God

• The name is also a meme, because “dildo of god” backward is “dog food lid.”

Must Be The Holy Ghost
Abel Raise The Cain
God Of The Gaps
Other Jesus
Astorian Stigmata

• This goth-rock band has a video on its Facebook page in which frontman Dennis Condusta wonders why the internet hates the group. Its supremely goofy video for “Dramatic Romantics” does the band no favors:

Fat Heaven
Raised In Purgatory
Heaven’s Jail

Thy name is dumb

Thy Art Is Murder
Thy Nihilistic Serpent

These bands are exactly what you think

Skapeche Mode

• “Committed to ruining both the eighties and ska, one show at a time.” It looks like they’re succeeding, per this video.

Skadonna

No

Kississippi
Speak Low If You Speak Love
N-A-R-C

• It stands for New Age Real Change. Nope.

Her Name Echoes
Courage My Love
Patchouli Prince

• Not to be confused with Prince Of Patchouli, a Cleveland shop specializing in smoking accessories and sundry ’60s stuff. Come in for your free pack of incense today!

D-Cent Jerks
Prettiest Eyes
SadGirl
Cuddle Formation
The Lady Comes First
Stay N The Fight
Black Sheep Refuge
Psychiatric Metaphors
Faun And A Pan Flute
My Darling Fury

Punny names, plays on words, portmanteaus, etc.

Deaf Wish

• This name has to have been used before, right?

Surface To Air Missive
Swimsuit Addition
Rational Anthem

• Bio: “Once we started being a band 6 years ago, we just never stopped. We’re still trying to figure out why.”

Reighnbeau
Mother Girth

Good Graeff
Teen Commandments
Audiotopsy
L.O.T.I.O.N.

• Winner, Biggest Gulf Between Acronym & What It Stands For: Legacy Of Terror In Occupied Nations.

Jugger-nut

Boosegumps
Banned Parenthood

Exclamations!

Citizens!
Oh Pep!
AudioDamn!
Go!Zilla

• Not to be confused with Go!Zilla, a download manager. “Never lose a download again!”

Survay Says!

• This New Jersey ska-punk band is attempting to avoid litigation from the producers of Family Feud with that classic evasive move, misspelling a word. Better to look dumb than get sued!

Weird characters, punctuation, and capitalization

[[[personablack]]]
why+the+wires
Lost Boy ?
A/JUS/TED
Love, Jerks
Shy, Low
BL_NK SP_C_S
.wav

• Co-winner, Least Effective Name For Googling

Shift K3Y
Cre-scen-do

Voted Most Likely To Be Spelled Incorrectly

Sapropelic Pycnic
Signor Benedick The Moor
Necrocannibalistic Vomitorium
Wam Dingis
Phutureprimitive
Pfarmers
Adjy

Go long or go home

Just The Right Height No Bucket Required

• As explained by the man in this video, that’s the phrase abbreviated with JRHNBR, which describes when an animal has an anus or vagina at hip height, so a human male wouldn’t need to stand on something to sexually penetrate it. The video comes from a 2004 British TV documentary called Animal Passions, which examined zoophilia. (It’s on YouTube.) Now go take a shower.

Perspective, A Lovely Hand To Hold
A Sea Monster Ate My Friends
A Scumbag’s Guide To Life
Mr. Elevator And The Brain Hotel
The Department Of Descriptive Services

• Bio: “The Department of Descriptive Services is a city service, we are here to HELP kids, foreigners, aliens, creatures of allwalks [sic] of life, even curious plants and sea life…OH!!! Let us not forget the dead, ghosts, gouls, zombies and rapscallions..to better understand the benefits and the goings on of city facilities, structures of business and public places. We are here to inform you.” Understanding that, the song titles on last year’s High Fashiost make more sense: “Hospitol” [sic], “Professional Building,” “Public Pool,” “Post Office,” “DMV.”

It’s Not Night: It’s Space

• Genre: “Heavy Raga-Roll Drone Journeys to the Depths of Inner & Outer Space”

Tall Tales And The Silver Lining
Among The Rocks And Roots
Cornstar Farmer’s Market Pornstar Coinstar

• Songs: “Everyone Cummin’ To The Beat,” “Sweet Pussy Laphroaig.”

Binho Incorporis Pussy Putrification Clono Infest
The Corpse In The Crawlspace

• Its 2015 album, Let There Be Corpse, blows through 30 tracks in 34 minutes—the longest, “Duodenal Devourment,” clocks in at an epic 2:36. Let There Be Corpse also features “Oozing Abdominal Lunch,” “Exquisite Empryonic [sic] Excoriation And Evisceration,” “Prolonged Bowel Prolapse,” “Vomit Snorter,” “Purulent Sphictral Ripping Afterbirth,” and many more. The grindcore scene is single-handedly keeping the medical-dictionary business solvent.

The End Times Spasm Band
Extraordinary Popular Delusions

• The title comes from Extraordinary Popular Delusions And The Madness Of Crowds, a landmark 1841 book by Charles Mackay that explains everything from alchemy and mind-reading scams to economic bubbles. The band Extraordinary Popular Delusions explores another mass delusion: free jazz.

First person

I Tried To Run Away When I Was 6

• Full name appears to be I Tried To Run Away When I Was 6 (But Got Too Scared To Cross The Street). In September, Peak Emo was reached when it released a split with Emo Side Project and Charlie Down. Short description, per Facebook: “bring a seltzer to the show and I’ll put you on the guest list.”

We Leave At Midnight
The Year I Disappear

• “This isn’t just ‘songs about my emotions’, Its [sic] an outlet for my problems. Passionate, Heartfelt, Meaningful.” So…songs about your emotions then?

My French Roommate

Second person

Yours Are The Only Ears
Screw Your Brains
Your Old Droog

Directives

Make Do And Mend
Show Me The Body
Feed Her To The Sharks
March On, Comrade
Don’t Fear The Satellites

• A common trope for bios for unknown/up-and-coming bands is to claim they’re pioneering a new genre, usually with some convoluted description. To wit: “Don’t Fear The Satellites of Cincinnati is slashing through the Midwest music scene coining their own genre of what they call Fusion Dance Music. The music flows through a variety of styles capturing the essence of Progressive Rock and Fusion Jazz but also nodding to, R&B, Funk, Electronic and World Music.”

Thrash Or Die

• Naturally, a band that has an album called Poser Holocaust also has a song called “No Posers Allowed.”

Kick A Ten Year Old In The Head

• Description of YouTube video for this LA/NYC duo’s song “The Big Heavy”: “this song was released on nothing. ever.”

NO VOWELS

PPL MVR

• The press release announcing the trio’s appointment as house band of The Spike Guys’ Choice Awards declared it the “world’s craziest band.” Maybe because the members dress as sasquatch or something?

PWR BTTM

• Per Facebook, band influences: Kylie Minogue. Band interests: cheekbones.

Nospaces

Highasakite
Himomitsdad
Sideasideb
Tinnitusstimulus
Def.GRLS
BoomBoxRepairKit

X and Y

Sashcloth & Axes

• Short description: “NO SAFEWORDS.” Bio: “LEATHER AND CHAINS.”

Truman & His Trophy
Man And The Smells
Everyone And Their Empty Cups
The Dust And The Screaming

• “alternative rock with a progressive touch, fans of coheed and cambria, radiohead, pink floyd, rush, led zeppelin, and bold & creative music are welcome.” If you don’t like The Dust And The Screaming, you must not be a fan of bold and creative music.

The Things

The Hell Yeah Babies
The Hate My Day Jobs

• “Dan, Artie, and Glenn hate their day jobs. So do you, you say? Well, did you take the ennui that is your life and turn it into paying gigs that make the kids dance? We didn’t think so.”

The Potential Lunatics
The Black Heartthrobs
The Hartford Pussies
The Wet Darlings

Surgeon General’s warning

Cigarettes After Sex
Diet Cig
Cigarette Bums
Lower Tar

Animals, sort of

Strung Like A Horse
Whales Whailing
Rat Fist
False Pterodactyl
Shark Punch

• Bio: “It’s all about Dinosaur Brocore.”

Escape By Ostrich
A Deer A Horse
Step-Panther
Jurassic Shark
Trichotomous Hippopotamus

• Per its bio: “Rapidly becoming a force to be reckoned with in the Fort Wayne music scene.” First Fort Wayne, then northern Indiana, then THE WORLD.

The Pinstripe Pigeon Band
A Giant Dog
Horse Jumper Of Love
Dream Panther
Egrets On Ergot
Dogs On Acid
Story Of The Running Wolf

• Bio: “…the LA-based duo has created a live show which has been described as a ‘John Hughes party on Neptune.’” Yes, it’s better to make it sound like that description came from someone besides the band.

Pupppy

• Latest album: Shit In The Apple Pie

BBIGPIGG
Sodium Beast

• Its song “(You Got A) Pussy” consists mostly the title repeated over and over, then amended with “You got a pussy between your legs!”

Like Herding Cats
Yeti Ender

• Bio, per Facebook: “Yeti Ender is a __________ (impressive adjective) band that blends the _____ (adjective) sounds of _____ (genre) with the _______ (superlative) that _______ (another genre) has to offer —- think ______ (band) meets ______ (band).
• Yeti Ender formed when _______ (band member) met _______ (another band member) in the men’s room of _________ (local park). The two of them ______ (verb, past tense) for ______ (period of time) until they met up with ________ (rest of the band). It was like ______ (noun) for the whole ________ (body part)!
  
  Together, the ______ (number) of them _____ (verb) like no other in today’s ______ (genre) scene. With their ______ (tough-sounding adjective) riffs, _______ (pretentious adjective) lyrics, and ________ (sexy adjective) stage show, they are soon to be __________ (grandiose claim)!”
• Song titles from last year’s Visions Of Your Cat: “Motherfucking Awesome God,” “Ancient Clown Burial Ground,” “Lotion Basket.” Available via Bandcamp for $6.66.

Roach Beach

• Sweet logo:

So it’s not just a clever name

GodAwfulNoise
The Awful Din

The final frontier

Astronauts, Etc.
Cambodian Space Project

• Most band bios needn’t stretch 2,173 words, but most bios aren’t also quick primers on the Khmer Rouge and its crackdown on popular music. The story of how Cambodian Space Project came together, and the shadow the Khmer Rouge still casts nearly 40 years later, justifies the epic bio—and the “Please like us on facebook!” button at the end is kind of adorable.

What Moon Things

• Bio: “Formed:
• the brink of summer,
  a moldy asthmatic basement.
  Drinkin the last sips
  every last box of wine,
  what moon things
  saw the tasty crevice of light,
  born again.
  
  it’s the fourth wave, and we’re cummin.”

Stuck On Planet Earth
Newish Star

• Opening lyrics to the (great) 55-second song “I Got Mad”: “Now I got mad / When one of my best friends in the world / Liked my band / When all I wanted was / Some pretty girl I never met before / To give me some wrong sense of approval / A perverted pat on the back.”
• Bio: “Hi Newish Star is a three piece from Buffalo NY and Jordan writes all the songs but he isn’t pushy about it.”

Surf’s up

Surf Rock Is Dead
Surfbort

• Presumably they’re Beyonc
• é
• fans?
  

Gentleman Surfer
Surf Curse

Zzzzz

Naked Naps

• Song: “Toyota Prius, The Silent Killer”

Nap Eyes

Numbers

Pop. 1280
51717

Foodies

Leisure Muffin
Carb On Carb
Hot Sauce Holiday

• Bio: “Hot Sauce Holiday is for everyone that wants to kick over their office desks and start dancing. We are for the eccentric outsiders, the burners, and the lovers. Join us in taking on the banality of convention.”

Deep Fried Embryo

• Songs from 2014’s Butcher: “John Wayne Was A Rapist,” “Visual Defication” [sic],” “Black Jack Black Eating Cracker Jacks,” “The Boy Who Pounded Pony’s [sic] To Much,” “Shit Bomb The Bed,” “Burner Of Bibles, Shitter Of Beds,” “Stealing And Selling And Testing Used Dildos,” and many, many more, most lasting around 15 seconds.

Geographical locations

Fire In The Hamptons

• Bio: “Descending from the heavens (with an arrival point somewhere directly skyward of Los Angeles, California) looms Fire In The Hamptons: A tribal entity that has come to provide the Earth with the soundtrack for celestial lovemaking.”

Gowanus Mutant Kommandos
Hecho En Brooklyn

Family ties

Gramma’s Boyfriend
Unkle Funkle
Acid Dad
Sons Of Hippies
Novelty Daughter
O’Sister Brother
Too Fun Child
Dad & Dad

Repetition repetition repetition (repeat)

And And And
Wheelchair Wheelchair Wheelchair Wheelchair

Oh Oh Ecstasy
GGGAMESSS

Transit

Car Seat Headrest

• Bandcamp bio excerpt: “Media outlets please DO NOT LINK THE NUMBERED ALBUMS BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT VERY GOOD”

Kneeling Bus

• It looks like two groups claim this moniker: an experimental band called Kneeling Bus from Brooklyn (album: Watch The Simpsons Online Free), the other a band from Pennsylvania called The Kneeling Bus, which may or may not still exist. It doesn’t look like anyone’s claimed A Kneeling Bus yet.

Short Bus PileUp

• 2010 album: Repulsive Display Of Human Upholstery, which includes tracks like “Labia Beautification,” “Stench Of Her Burning Flesh,” “Gagging On Dick,” and “FUBAR (Felt Up By A Retard).” 2006’s We Keep The Dancefloor Dirty With Bottles And Shit is a little more lighthearted, with songs like “Remember That Time We Stomped That Dead Dear [sic] Carcass,” “I Have Erectile Disfunction [sic] Now Thanks To Lorraina Bobbit [sic],” and, uh, “Suturing The Fuckhole.”

Blinded with science

Miracles Of Modern Science
Thank You Scientist

Dear white people

Fat White Family

• Winner, Song That Sounds Nothing Like Its Title: “Now That I’m Taking Myself Seriously As An Artist (Wet Hot Beef Part III)”

Rich White Ladies

Get mild

Totally Mild
The Mild High Club

Emo

Diabolic Emo Destroyer

• So diabolical they’re only on Myspace!

Emo Side Project

• Songs from this year’s You Know What Sucks? Everything: “This MegaHertz,” “I’m Just Crying And Watching Soccer,” “No History Book Could Have Prepared Me For What Happened Here,” “Salute Your Jorts!”

Misc.

Adult Dude
Teenage Time Killers
Scam Avenue
Oh Golly

• The band offers a “free consultation” via text if you’re feeling lonely, stretched thin, anchor-less, or have any questions in general: 973-508-5497.

Drippy Inputs
Coastwest Unrest
Laser Background
Big Zit
The Stupid Daikini
Tracksuit Wedding

• “Experience true energy and entertainment!” screams an enormous banner on the band’s homepage. But please note: “We don’t wear Tracksuits and we are not a Wedding Band!” says its Facebook page.

Yip Deceiver
Rad Payoff

• Album: The Good, The Rad, And The Ugly. Track four, “Mini Raid The Panty Fridge,” features the repeated refrain, “Don’t slam my dick in the car door!”

Um Are

• Opening track on this year’s Child Prodigy: “Um Are You Gonna Finish That?”

Evasive Backflip
Bastardgeist
Relevant Anger
Bad Bad Meow
Pure Disgust
Total Slacker

Slum Sociable
Baby Aspirin DVD
Sultan Of The Disco
Criminal Hygiene

• Bio: “uptown slick cruise sailor crackers stuck under freeway overpasses drinking chords and shitting cranberries…”

Weird Guilty Pleasures

• Winner, World’s Most Boring Band Bio: “Adam and Dylan have been friends and have been in a few bands together in the past. Michael and Adam were childhood friends, but didn’t see each other much after they moved. Once they met up again years later, they realized both were musicians and the band started to take form bringing everyone together.”

Cutthroat Gorgeous
Mattress Financial
Half Waif
Endorphins Lost
Go Filth Go
Wizard Rifle
Crypto Jocks
Gruesome Toilet

Chess Club Romeos
Sugarquief

• As of this writing, the group has a sad six Twitter followers.

Freedom Fry
Purple Mountains Majesties
Powered Wig Machine
Divorced With Three Kids
Bro Safari
Indonesian Junk

• Bio excerpt: “We’re kinda scumbags.”

Injecting Strangers
Straight Edge Kegger

Chat Logs
Shy Technology

• “The band’s name, which is often shortened to ‘Shy Tech,’ is explained by [frontman David] Coulson as the vision of human beings being very advanced forms of technology: ‘Our bodies serve as vehicles to help us manifest great things and to help others. Our inner being is what controls the actions of that technology. I thought it was a funny thing explaining the soul and body connection and it seemed that the perfect way to do that was by describing it as ‘shy technology.’” So there you go.

High-Functioning Flesh

• Bio excerpt: “Their unique hard beating electronics are heavily infused with body horror and seeks to revive us from our spectacle-induced coma.” So prepare to have you fucking mind blown, bro.

Decrepit Jaw
Dead Is He

• Band interests: “Playing brutal metal and consuming mass quantities of beer, tequila and Jagermister [sic].”

Hot Flash Heat Wave
Clones Of Clones