Wired wants Batman and Superman to stop fighting and just kiss already

By Joe Blevins | March 16, 2016 | 5:17pm

Aux Features Film

Wired wants Batman and Superman to stop fighting and just kiss already

Their big cinematic showdown is only a week and a half away, but maybe it’s not too late for Batman and Superman to set aside their differences and become friends. Or, just maybe, something more than friends. In anticipation of the March 25 release of Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice, Wired is releasing its own rom-com-styled recut of the film’s much-obsessed-over trailer. This version of the film is called Batman Meets Superman: The Dawn Of Just Us, and it’s less a clash of comic book titans and more a meet-cute about two handsome, career-driven guys who meet at a party, thanks to the machinations of amateur cupid Lex Luthor, and exchange some flirty dialogue and meaningful glances but seem unsure of how to take their relationship to the next level. It’s like Super Friends With Benefits.

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The narrator explains that, like many a rom-com protagonist, Clark Kent (Henry Cavill) seemingly has it all. His job is going great, and he has plenty of friends, but no one really gets him. If only he could talk to someone else who was really into working out, fighting crime, and wearing skin-tight bodysuits. Cue Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck). “Now they’ve gotta figure out,” says the warm-voiced narrator, “if heroes from two different planets can get vulnerable, get real, and even fall in love.” Generally, Wired has left the original Batman V Superman footage alone, but there is one clever shot in which the famous Bat-Signal has been modified to project a giant heart on the cloudy, ominous sky over Gotham. Diana Prince (Gal Gadot) shows up in the trailer as well, but it soon becomes clear that neither of the title characters has the slightest interest in her. Wonder Woman will obviously be going home alone in her Invisible Jet tonight.