Woody Allen's new film gets title, photos, cover-up of fact that it's set on the moon

By Sean O'Neal | October 15, 2013 | 8:51pm

Aux Features Film

The title has been revealed for Woody Allen’s next movie vacation outside of New York, and it’s Magic In The Moonlight—which, oh, now Woody Allen is taking all of his movie star friends to the moon. Great use of our already-taxed space resources during the government shutdown, Obama. Or, if you choose to believe the mainstream media, he actually took them to the south of France (a region we grudgingly suppose is just as exotic, and equally safer than Rio de Janeiro).

While no plot details have been released yet, the announcement was accompanied by a couple of photos of the cast that includes Emma Stone, Colin Firth, Marcia Gay Harden, Jacki Weaver, Eileen Atkins, and Hamish Linklater, who are surrounded by vintage automobiles and fancy, old-fashioned hats that suggest Moonlight will be a period piece. That is, if you’re a blind idiot who doesn’t realize that those are really cleverly disguised lunar modules and space helmets, and that Woody Allen is clearly complicit in the decades-long conspiracy to cover up our secret moonbase for rich people.