You know how it is. You’re in the market for a house (or idly speculating on the fantastical day when you’d actually be able to afford one) when your Zillow scrolling tour of some nondescript-looking fixer-upper comes to a horrified halt at the one photo indicating that the previous owners had some… secrets. Well, as Aaron Paul noted on his Thursday Late Show appearance from his recently purchased home in Los Feliz, California, when your price range is essentially peak-TV unlimited, the hidden features of your prospective abode escalate from the odd kitchen toilet or Bigfoot sighting to an entire, super-secret, Prohibition-era speakeasy, concealed behind a fake wall and a giant wall safe.
Paul didn’t say whether the illicit underground watering hole was what sealed the deal on his California residence (he also winters in Idaho, as a viral video of Paul taking his morning dip in a ball-shrinkingly icy river showed). But the guy looks right at home in illicit subterranean lairs, plus he and Breaking Bad co-conspirator Bryan Cranston do have their own mezcal company with which to stock the shelves. Showing Colbert that, in a addition to the ingeniously hidden outer door (leading to a meager few shelves of once-contraband hooch), there’s also a secret staircase under the floorboards, leading to the real speakeasy under the house. Paul did not let Colbert or viewers check out the underground part of his drinker’s Batcave, but admitted that the 1920s-built amenity is a little creepy. Nothing a few shots can’t fix.
Paul, currently jumping into the at-home voiceover field with a starring role in the James Patterson Audible audio drama The Coldest Case, also shared with Colbert the cringe-inducing memory of the time he made a magical ass of himself in front of both J.J. Abrams and Tom Cruise. Paul, who had a pre-Breaking Bad role in Mission Impossible III, told Colbert how he made the mistake of trying to get on the director’s good side by boasting of his love for—and facility with—close-up magic. Cue Magic Castle habitué Abrams gathering the entire crew—and Cruise—around for a demonstration, in which Paul sheepishly showed off the two children’s party-level card tricks he sort-of knew. Man, it’s enough to make you scurry under your house and drink.