Meet John Dillermand, a Danish children's show about a guy with a really big penis

By Reid McCarter | January 7, 2021 | 1:46pm

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Meet John Dillermand, a Danish children's show about a guy with a really big penis

Screenshot: Daniel

John Dillermand is an animated TV show about a man in an old-fashioned, red and white-striped bathing suit and pom pom hat whose enormous, ever-extending penis leads him into all sorts of misadventures. John Dillermand, which translates loosely to “John Penis-man,” is also a TV show created for the entertainment of Danish children.

The first episode of John Dillermand debuted last Saturday on DR, Denmark’s public-service TV and radio broadcaster, and, from what we can gather without understanding Danish, follows John as he uses his prehensile, candy cane-colored penis to help him get work as a dog walker. He grabs squeaky toys from a bag and leads the dogs on their walk using, you guessed it, his Lovecraftian ween. But, when the dogs run off in pursuit of a cat, he must retrieve them by being driven around on a pickup truck, squeaking a toy clutched by his serpentine dick and wincing painfully whenever a dog bites onto it. The episode ends with him trying to cook sausages by lifting a can of lighter fluid onto a barbecue with his elastic penis, resulting in a cartoon explosion.

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The entire thing’s only five minutes long, but if you want a quicker sample of the Dillermand vibe, its intro gives a good example of what to expect.

Despite the fact that Johnny Penis-man was a concept that was thought up, approved, written out, and laboriously animated before a public broadcaster decided to air it publicly, Danish commenters are not unanimous in thinking it’s all that appropriate for kids. An article from The Guardian reports that opinion is split on the program, described in its summary as the story of “the man with the world’s longest penis who overcomes hardships and challenges with his record-breaking genitals.”

A Roskilde University professor said John Dillermand “[perpetuates] the standard idea of a patriarchal society and [normalizes] ‘locker room culture,’” despite appearing “harmless” because it’s a comedy. A clinical psychologist, on the other hand, defended the show on the grounds that it “talks to children and shares their way of thinking,” notably that “kids do find genitals funny.” She agrees with others that the timing of the show’s release—in the midst of Denmark’s #MeToo movement—is “poor,” but says the show isn’t about sex and that Dillermand “takes responsibility” for his giant penis’s actions, respecting when “a woman in the show tells him that he should keep [it] in his pants, for instance.”

Read more about John Dillermand in the full article or peruse our own site for more examples of bizarre, unnerving children’s entertainment.

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