Late on Wednesday night, the Wright Way Rescue in suburban Morton Grove, Illinois—a no-kill animal shelter and worthy cause to which you can donate here—posted an ad trying to help one of their cats, a seven-year-old named Bruno, get adopted. Bruno, as the ad states, is a little bit extra, preferring to drink water out of cups strategically placed around the house instead of a regular water bowl in the kitchen and only eating if you scratch him behind the ears (not his belly, he doesn’t like that) while he does it.
He also likes to stand on his hind legs, and is a polydactyl cat, meaning he has extra toes on his front paws. Combined, they give him the delightful air of a bodega owner in a Cuban shirt yelling at the kids congregating outside of his store, or Tony Soprano getting up in the middle of the night to eat cold cuts straight from the fridge:
Bruno is an amazing, special, wonderful, chonky cat, and so he immediately became famous, with writeups on Vice and Buzzfeed as well as several productivity-sapping, giggle-inducing hours of conversation on the A.V. Club company Slack channels. But this isn’t about that—not entirely.
See, Bruno’s viral fame meant that Wright Way was inundated with adoption applications from people who simply could not live without him, including one from this writer. And a little over an hour ago, Wright Way posted a followup showing Bruno surveying the many applications placed by eager adopters over the past 24 hours, with a caption that reads, “He requests you make your case or post a video plea in the comments. What kind of feather wands do you have? What country do you live in? The more EXTRA, the better.”
Well, how’s hijacking a pop-culture website with the express purpose of shamelessly begging to adopt a virally famous cat for extra? I’ve had cats since I was a little girl, and have loved some gloriously extra cats in my time. I promise to love Bruno just as much, as well as continually needle the Onion graphics department to make Photoshops of him. HE STANDS ON HIS HIND LEGS, FOR PETE’S SAKE.
Call me, Wright Way. You have my application on file.