Another epic pop culture saga reaches its climax as A&E announces Wahlburgers is coming to an end

By William Hughes | April 26, 2019 | 12:49am

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Another epic pop culture saga reaches its climax as A&E announces Wahlburgers is coming to an end

Photo: A&E

2019 has proven to be a truly tumultuous time for many of the most potent pop culture forces operating in our world, with the Avengers reaching their Endgame, Game Of Thrones soon declaring its winner, and now, per THR, the coming of news that A&E’s saga of familial strife, celebrity success, and much-discussed beef packaging, Wahlburgers, is finally reaching the end of its long and winding road after a scant 10 seasons on the air. The reality series—for those who’ve been living outside the easily bask-able glow of its majesty for the last half-decade or so—recounts the rise, and fall, but mostly rise of the restaurant fortunes of Mark, Donnie, and [Third Wahlberg Brother Remember To Look Up Name And Add Back Here] Wahlberg, as they attempt to forge a path to beefy success with nothing but the massive, completely unreasonable celebrity and bankroll of actor Mark Wahlberg in order to keep themselves afloat.

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But just as a candle can only burn so long—no matter how many New Kids On The Block cameos it ends up bringing in—so, too, can the storyteller’s loom only weave so much tapestry from wool this fine. After all, now that Mark and [The Other One, Insert Here, I Think His Name Might Be Gergen?] are busy shoving their beefy deliveries into the gullets of America’s troops, courtesy of a new army base supplier deal—and Donnie is “risking it all” to open a new Wahlburgers location in his hometown—how much more drama can we squeeze out of even this juiciest of beef? At this point, it seems unlikely that anything could bring these brothers down, ensuring that the meteoric rise of Mark, Donnie, and [Eggs Milk Bread Pizza Rolls Wahlbergs Brand Pre-Packaged Beef Cat Food] Wahlberg shall be eternally writ across the very stars themselves. Just, uh, not on A&E.

(Also: We kid restaurateur Paul Wahlberg, but really, if there’s one through-line from the unscripted series’ 10-season run, it’s the idea that having Mark Wahlberg as your brother would be utterly demoralizing and fucked up.)