Its well-documented pre-production woes well behind it, Peyton Reed’s The Film Formerly Known As Edgar Wright’s Ant-Man begins principal photography today. And, according to The Hollywood Reporter, the movie does so with an increased number of actors attached. John Slattery, Judy Greer, Bobby Cannavale, Tip “T.I.” Harris, Gregg “Neil Hamburger” Turkington, Wood “We’re Going To Say ‘Avon From The Wire Here, Just To Form A Pattern” Harris, and Abby Ryder “No Nickname Necessary, There Are Already Three Names Here” Fortson have joined the film, meeting the minimum requirement of not being former Ant-Man director Edgar Wright. The question remains: Where will all of these name actors fit in a film that already has two Ant-Men, a Yellowjacket, and a daughter of Ant-Man? Slattery has established history in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, having appeared via Walt Disney-esque archival film as Howard Stark in Iron Man 2 (and some sources are already taking Slattery’s casting as confirmation that Stark will return in Ant-Man—so, sure, go for it), but everyone else’s role is open to rank, unmitigated speculation.
Working from that, and the fact that the initials of T.I.’s stage name could feasibly stand for “Tiny Insect,” The A.V. Club would like to make the 100 percent, unverifiable assertion that everyone cast in Ant-Man from this point forward is playing an ant. Greer? An ant who’s just getting over playing best-friend parts in order to play moms who don’t fuck around (and maybe also harbor dreams of country music careers?). Based on Cannavale’s recent experience in both Boardwalk Empire and Nurse Jackie, the actor will clearly be playing a worker ant with big ambitions of working to the top of the hill, in order to run things his way. Turkington will play an ant who makes intentionally tasteless jokes about Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ant-Man is set for a July 17, 2015 release, at which point it will be revealed that none of the actors named above are playing ants.