Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me By Your Name is pulling in rave reviews for its honest depiction of a coming-of-age love story between two young men. But sometimes, it seems, you can still have a little too much honesty; that’s per a SiriusXM interview this week with Andy Cohen and the film’s cast, which discussed some of the film’s more distressing logistical difficulties, vis-à-vis star Armie Hammer’s balls.
The trouble, of course, was those dang short-shorts. They’re a distinctive part of the costume for Hammer’s character, archaeology student Oliver, but, as noted by Vice, they sometimes left literally nothing to the imagination during the shoot. “There was a few times where they had to go back and digitally remove my balls from the movie,” Hammer told Cohen, adding, “They were short shorts. What’re you gonna do?” Apply some deft CGI clean-up, apparently, lest a wandering flash of scrotum—every cinematographer’s darkest nightmare—distract audiences from the meat of the scene. (Meanwhile, Guadagnino upped the buck-wild level of this story considerably by implying that part of the problem was that Hammer’s genitals were just too big to be easily contained, a statement that would be absolutely insane coming from most director-performer pair-ups.)
Because we’re giggling children—and because this is the first news story in months to feature phrases like “exposed genitals” without also being a horrifically depressing condemnation of human behavior—we could probably spend another 500 words on this topic, waxing poetic about Armie Hammer and his Armie Hammers. Brevity being the soul of wit and all, though, we’ll just leave you with this line from Billy Eichner on Twitter, which is a far sight better than anything we could easily offer up: