Avast, ye pirates: The Man shuts down nine movie-streaming websites

When Joe Biden first formed his team of crack commandos and declared that the U.S. government was finally going to get serious about combating Internet piracy, many probably assumed that funny Uncle Joe was just fucking with you. But no, Internet: He is not fucking with you. He’s here from downtown. He’s here from Mitch and Murray. And he’s here on a mission of mercy, swiftly rounding up nine websites notorious for distributing illegal downloads of films and reclaiming their domain names—among them Movies-Links.tv, Filespump.com, ZML.com, Now-Movies.com, ThePirateCity.org, PlanetMoviez.com, NinjaVideo.net, and NinjaThis.net. (It’s a sad day, my ninjas.)