The first sentence of Wikipedia’s summary of “Inferno” begins “His face healed,” which we wish was true of more TV episodes. Oh, what Brandon Nowalk wouldn’t give to see what would come of the “With Dorothy’s face healed” episode of
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WHAT ELSE IS ONPretty Little Liars (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): Every season, we flirt with the notion of publishing weekly reviews of
Pretty Little Liars, only to change course at the last minute because its core audience doesn’t really intersect with
A.V. Club readership. NO MORE! Joe Reid is the man attempting to do what all of Twitter does whenever this show is on—at least for the next few weeks. If his coverage doesn’t catch on, we’re throwing
PLL back to the wolves that ate regular
Gossip Girl coverage!
Twisted (ABC Family, 9 p.m.): ABC Family continues rolling out a summer programming slate that stubbornly refuses to answer any questions about Bunheads. Carrie Raisler has some thoughts on the network’s latest attempt to capitalize on the success of Pretty Little Liars and The Lying Game, the first draft of which was just the sentence “Where’s Bunheads, String?” repeated ad nauseam.
My Teen Is Pregnant, And So Am I (TLC, 10 p.m.): This is just an extension of that eerily accurate (but hugely condescending) WNET ad campaign and not an actual show, right? If you just believe it’s so, then it is so.
Renovate To Rent (HGTV, 11 p.m.): Put away the sheet music to “Seasons Of Love.” Title to the contrary, this is not about fixing up a place to the strains of Rent—though a show-tunes-and-build-outs show would’ve made huge bank for HGTV at the height of Glee’s popularity.
Superman Returns (FX, 8 p.m.): In which Superman returns—and then promptly retreats from the megaplexes for seven summers, ceding further ground to Batman and the heroes of the Marvel universe and providing Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World with one of its best meta jokes. (Sorry you had to be the George Lazenby of Supermen, Brandon Routh.)
Election (MoreMAX, 9 p.m.): Disappointed that Awkward. is about to disappear for an undisclosed period of time? Allow Alexander Payne’s razor-sharp high-school satire to soothe that separation anxiety—and then follow it up with alternating viewings of Mean Girls, Heathers, and Easy A on Tuesdays for the foreseeable future.
NBA Finals: Game 3: Heat at Spurs (ABC, 9 p.m.): After pulling even with the Spurs in Game 2, the Heat head to San Antonio, where LeBron James and company look to improve their luck on the road—and maybe take a trip to the top of The Tower of the Americas, to take in the Central Texas scenery.
IN CASE YOU MISSED ITDefiance: A visitor from the past comes to Defiance, and Rowan Kaiser just couldn’t decide if that was an occasion for an
Idiocracy reference or an “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer” riff.
South Park’s “Prehistoric Ice Man” would’ve been a good reference point, too.
