Look, we have got a lot to unpack here, so let’s get through the basic facts of this story fast: Ben Stiller is producing a new series for Hulu, it’s an anthology about women telling their “dirty deeds and misadventures” to their hair stylist, it’s based on a Brazilian show, and it’s called Bitches. Stiller’s producing it through his Red Hour production company, and Nzingha Stewart and G.L. Lambert are set to write.
Now, Stewart’s a known quantity in Hollywood: she’s directed episodes of Pretty Little Liars, Major Crimes, and is expected to shoot on How To Get Away With Murder and Grey’s Anatomy later this year. Lambert, on the other hand, is a relative unknown, outside of the very specific world of dating advice books with names like Solving Single: How To Get The Ring Not The Run Around, or his landmark work, Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring.
Lambert’s not just an author, though—as per his Twitter bio, he’s also a “screenwriter” and “hair weave puller,” not to mention a top-notch repository for class. He appears to also be the proprietor of (or at least partners with) a web site titled Black Girls Are Easy, where he encourages women to be “Spartans,” instead of “ratchets” or “THOTs,” all of which he helpfully defines. Traipsing even further down this rabbit hole of thoughtful advice—braving what we can only imagine to be an unimaginable stench of AXE bodyspray in the process—and we get to this amazing option in one of his online storefronts: The “Ask For Advice” choice, in which you can pay $99 to have a man who once wrote the phrase, “Ho Tactics provides the Sex-Free blueprint on how to turn any man into your personal ATM,” serve as your own personal love guru for a year.
We’re not sure how Stiller came into contact with Lambert—if we’re being 100 percent honest here, we’re still not completely sure he didn’t just invent him, out of a desire to create a new candidate for worst person in the world—but apparently something about his methods spoke to the Zoolander star. Bitches is currently in development; we’ll let you know when a release date has been secured.