CBS releases its new primetime schedule—now with more Donnie Wahlberg and strippers-turned-lawyers

CBS has released its own primetime schedule for next year, which scheduling head Kelly Kahl terms an exercise in “aggressive stability”—which sounds about right for a network dedicated to experimentation, so long as it’s in the form of police procedurals and laugh tracks. As reported yesterday, CBS had to clear some brush first by canceling seven different series, something Kahl characterized as getting rid of the “low-hanging fruit” (which is an odd appropriation of that phrase). Taking their place are three new dramas and two new comedies, outlined in bold below. Also, some older shows are being shuffled around—most notably moving Survivor to Wednesdays and The Big Bang Theory to Thursdays, where it will be paired with the William Shatner-starring $#*! My Dad Says to create a comedy block to compete with NBC’s (in theory, at least). The new CBS lineup:

MONDAY
8:00-8:30 PM How I Met Your Mother
8:30-9:00 PM Rules Of Engagement
9:00-9:30 PM Two And A Half Men
9:30-10:00 PM Mike & Molly: As previously reported, this comedy from Two And A Half Men’s Chuck Lorre is about an overweight couple who meet-cute at Overeaters Anonymous. Here’s some more stuff we know: The man in said couple is also a cop, so bonus. Eastbound And Down’s Katy Mixon plays Molly’s  “sexy older sister” while Swoosie Kurtz plays her mom, “both of whom flaunt their healthy appetites and slender figures.” And Mike frequents a diner, where he’s tempted by a Senegalese waiter who doesn’t understand crazy Americans and their hang-ups about eating less. If you’re not sold yet, here’s the tagline: “For Mike and Molly, thanks to their mutual love of pie and the desire to resist it, finding each other may have been worth the ‘weight.’”
10:00-11:00 PM Hawaii Five-O: Update of the classic surf-cop series, this time about a “new elite federalized task force” whose mission is to clean up the beach, Hawaii-style. Co-starring Lost’s Daniel Dae Kim as the guy who bought a house in Hawaii and needed an excuse to stay there.

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM NCIS
9:00-10:00 PM NCIS: Los Angeles
10:00-11:00 PM The Good Wife