Coldplay and Satriani settle; world breathes sigh of relief

Though the specifics aren't being made public—"specifics" being whether Joe Satriani got any money—the most important lawsuit in the history of the world has apparently been settled. As you may recall, Satriani accused Coldplay of swiping his "If I Can Fly" for their own "Viva La Vida." Coldplay denied any wrongdoing, and then Cat Stevens jumped into the fray (though not in court) and said that both songs were awfully similar to his "Foreigner Suite" (from 1973!). And you know what, they were all right. Except Joe Satriani.
Exhibit A: Do the guys in Coldplay really listen to Joe Satriani, especially a Joe Satriani record that came out in 2004? They're too busy marrying Gwyneth Paltrow and diluting early Radiohead. (Joke! I love Coldplay!)