Disney forcing us to watch another Peter Pan adaptation by casting Jude Law as hot Captain Hook

There are far too many Peter Pan adaptations. Up until five minutes ago, we were all but certain that there was literally nothing Disney or any other studio could do to make us want to sit through another one of these fucking things. No amount of money, no employ of attractive actors and/or creators could make us give a damn. You could slap David Fincher’s name on this thing and make it a scathing indictment of toxic masculinity featuring Brad Pitt as Captain Hook and we still would not buy what they are selling. But then here comes Variety with a report that Jude Law—the hot Young Pope himself—is in talks to play a hot (young…er?) Captain Hook in Disney’s new live-action Peter Pan and FINE. We’ll watch the stupid new Peter Pan movie, okay? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, DISNEY? You actually do ruin everything.