Don't You Wish The Subtle Sounds Of Nature Were Deafening Sometimes?

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If The Golden Girls is any indication, your golden years are going to be the sassiest time in your life. Finally, you can be as curmudgeonly and unyeilding as you like, and no one can fault you. But it's not all well-timed quips, telling it like it is, and teaching Mario Lopez how to write a killer essay. No, aging has its drawbacks, namely the general deterioration of the human body. One day you're walking through the park, enjoying the sounds of the birds chirping, and the next day (or 30 years later) you're screaming at the birds, "What? Chirp up, dammit! I'm trying to enjoy nature!"