Errors In The New US Weekly

By Amelie Gillette  |  March 29, 2006 | 8:58pm
Aux Features The A.V. Club Blog

The new issue of Us Weekly just landed on my desk, and it is rife with mistakes. Yes, rife. Check it out: Factual Errors In The New Us Weekly 1. The Cover

The cover story of

US claims that Jessica Simpson is having a "spring fling" with her co-star, the "sexy comedian Dane Cook."

Sorry, US. That's just not true. Dane Cook is many things––a great self-promoter, a rumored hack, a hero to frat-boys everywhere, annoying––but he is not sexy. Neither is "The Superfinger," or the movie Waiting.

As for the affair: Yeah, probably. Whatever. Who hasn't hooked up with a Simpson or a Lachey at this point? 2. Who Wore It Best?

94% of people think that Nicki Hilton wore that jacket better than Madonna? That's obvisously a mistake. Madonna's wearing it with fishnets and a leotard. The only way someone could wear it better is if they put it on backwards, Kris-Kross style.

Spandex trumps everything. Everyone knows that.

3. Fergie's Birthday Party

The caption reads "Fergie celebrated her 31st B-Day at Las Vegas' Pure club…"

Apparently, the

US factcheckers were off this week. There is no way Fergie is 31 years old. 51, maybe. 4. This Minute

Wrong again,

Us. This minute, I don't want to know anything about Tori Spelling's faux reality show. In fact, I'm actively trying to forget what I already know about it, but VH1 is making that virtually impossible. 5. Is It Really Depression? Ad

This three-page ad for isitreallydepression.com claims, "It could be bipolar disorder."

You think so?

Actually, there are no errors in this ad. They're right. It could be bipolar disorder. Either that, or tabloid-induced mania.

 
Join the discussion...